Reincarnation and other speculations
by reebajee
Summary: Because you're more likely to be reincarnated in the Naruto world would as a civilian far away from the ninja villages and I sure as hell hope you're not conscious for the miracle of life. SI/OC weirds out young team 7.
1. What the heck?

Title: Reincarnation

Summary: Because you're more likely to be reincarnated in the Naruto world would as a civilian far away from the ninja villages and I sure as hell hope you're not conscious for the miracle of life.

"You know that feeling where you know you're forgetting something but you don't know what? Well, I've pretty much felt that my entire life. Or rather, since I was born… again. That is, for as long as I can remember since I was born. But I don't remember feeling born so yeah. I could have had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu while being pushed out the birth canal, but hell if I remember that. But that's not what I feel like I'm forgetting. But I'm getting off topic. The feeling you're forgetting something… like, I remember not feeling it, but that was before I was born. Or maybe it didn't happen. It's complicated. Maybe I'm remembering someone else's memories. But whoever they are, we're a lot alike, so we could be the same person. Hell, they could even be my past life, or maybe I'm just having visions of my future, I wouldn't put it past me to have totally missed out on the memo that you're supposed to remember your past and not the future." I trail off and look to my little sister for her opinion on the matter.

"You're weird." She says flatly.

I grin and pull her in for a hug and a noogie. "You've only just noticed?" I laugh.

She gives a mock scowl and pushes me off. "No, just stating the obvious. Stop messing up my hair!" She pouts adorably until I release her. "How do you know they're memories anyway?" She asks.

I shrug. "Dunno. They just feel like memories. Like, when I remember back when you were born, and when I remember when learning to ride a bike, it feels the same." Due to our frequent chats along this line, Seika already knew what a bicycle was.

"You're crazy." She says.

"Maybe." I lie back in the grass and watch the sky. "Or really creative." Seika and I sit in silence and watch the breeze blow the leaves of the trees. As usual, my mind is a scatter, but I don't mind. My family and the village see me as sort of an idiot, but not in a bad way. More like the dreamer, the wanderer, and the town fool who represents human nature's impractical, dumbfounding tendency to think out of the box. I'm the guy who lives in his own world more often than not and who let's his imagination get the better of him. I'm an odd one, but I'm not alone. I love my village, and am loved by my village. I'm the comic relief, much like my older brother in my past life was to me. It's funny how I'm the one who died, or so I assume, and yet it is me who is honoring his memory by being like him. A slight frown comes to my face at that. I only remember my past life up to my current age of this body. As life goes on and I get older, I remember more and more, but I still haven't reached the age that I died in my past life, so I'm not really sure what happened… or if it's even a past life at all. It's kinda like watching an ongoing TV show, only that it's your life. I'm sort of glad that I don't remember everything yet. Not only would that mean the 'show's over' but it would also mean that I died young; only sixteen. I've been remembering some pretty hard times I had back when I was sixteen the first time. I just really, really hope I hadn't killed myself. That would put a real damper on my mood.

It turns out I needn't have worried. Two years later I'm eighteen years old and for the first time in my life I don't feel like I'm forgetting something. It's disconcerting to say the least. I'd gotten over the thing that happened when I was sixteen, rebounded better than ever with the help of therapy and had been confidently going off to college for the first time when I got struck by lightning and killed. I remembered that a fortnight ago, and now two weeks later I see Freakin Naruto standing at my door. Well isn't life just crazier than me?

Mom and Dad are off in the fields since it's harvest season and they couldn't spare the hands to meet the ninja, and so left me and Sister dearest to do the job.

I'm eighteen, my sister is fourteen, and since Sasuke is still with the team, I assume the genin at the door are twelve and the jonin 26. I was a Narutard, what can I say? At least I didn't memorize their blood types and birthdays like some people. Anyway, as soon as I see who it is our little farming village hired to take care of the bandits stealing our food, my jaw drops and I point dramatically at the boy in orange.

"You!" I shout.

Naruto squints and tilts his head to the side. "Eh?" Ahh! It's just like in the anime! My eyes light up as I run over to him and start pulling his cheeks

"Aww! You're so cute!" I screech. "You look just like I remember you!"

Naruto's eyes go comically wide and he yells "Wha- Do I know you!?"

"I used to have such a crush on you when I was little!" I continue on as if he said nothing.

"Where we even alive when you were little?" Sakura, ever the smart one, asks.

"Nope! Just a TV show!" I singsong, as I continue to snuggle Naruto while he struggles to free himself of my grasp. It's about now that dear sister Seika decides to do damage control.

"Sorry about him!" She says, prying me off of Naruto. "My brother is prone to delusions!"

"Awe, Seika, you're so mean!" I whine, hugging her around the neck. "Is that any way to treat your manly older brother?"

Seika rolls her eyes much like I often did at my older brother when I was her age. "You're about the least manly person I know."  
I shrug and lean my chin on top of her head. "Makes sense, since I was a girl in my past life." Seika takes one look at our guests' weirded out expressions and sighs. She's way beyond getting embarrassed by anything I do and I'm so proud of her. In my opinion, embarrassment is the most useless emotion and so I beat it out of her by embarrassing her constantly from a very young age, just as my older brother did to me.

"Why don't you all come in and have some tea?" Seika asks tiredly. Team seven gives each other nervous looks but comes in.

After we seated them all at the low table and served them tea, Seika asks them what they know of our situation. Kakashi pulls out a scroll and says, "According to the scroll, it's a C rank mission to deal with a group of bandits threatening your farming village."

Seika nods, "Yeah, every harvest they intimidate us to give a portion of our crop. We figured it would pay off in the long run if we used our savings hire you to get rid of them when they came to pick up the food."

"It's just like 'a bug's life'" I murmur to myself. Everyone looks at me.

"Huh?" Naruto asks intelligently.

"Then again," I say, "then again, no one got banished to find you and you're not circus performing insects."

Seika face-palms. "So in other words it's nothing like 'a bug's life' Ren."

"Hey, it could be!" I argue, "if the bandits were the crickets! No, wait, Oh! Oh! I know! This story is just like 'The seven samurai'! The only difference is there's four of you, and you're ninja, not samurai, and we didn't hide all the women from you. But I guess that would be unnecessary since you're all so young… except for you," I point to Kakashi, "you look like a pervert if I ever saw one."

I smile as the masked nin gapes at me. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, don't worry Kakashi, I'm just kidding." I joke.

"How do you know my name?" Kakashi asks standing up.

I blink in confusion, "What?" oh yeah, he hadn't introduced himself yet. Well shit. I play the idiot a little longer, showing my confusion. Suddenly I burst out laughing. "Wahahah! Oh my, oh my GOD Ha! Your, your parents _actually_ named you scarecrow! That is too good! Haha! I had a lucky guess! Hehe he you really do look like a Kakashi." I wipe the tears out of my eyes as my laughter dies down and see that Kakashi is decidedly unamused while his students appear to be holding back their own laughter. I give a Kakashi sympathetic smile. "S'okay man! My name in my past life meant 'snare', though now that I think about it, that's kinda cool. And nobody knew that's what it meant anyway…" I rub the back of my head and scratch my chin. "So, bad comparison I guess. Anyway, I called you Kakashi because you look like a scarecrow, but having had a bunch of hallucinations about your past and future doesn't hurt either. Would you like some more tea?"

Seika gives me a glare. "Don't rile them up, then offer more tea when you know you're not going to be the one to get it Ren."

"Aw, but Seika, I could make the tea, but you're so much better at it!" I whine.

"Then practice." She deadpans. "Go make some tea. You're giving me a headache."

I make to leave when I hear her grumble, "Seriously, sometimes I feel like the I'm older sibling around here." I couldn't let that go so I pop my head back through the door and say, "I was a younger sibling too once. And in my past life I felt exactly the way you do. It is my duty as loving older brother to annoy and embarrass you as much as possible, just like my brother did to me!" and with that I left to make the tea.

Kakashi watches the girl smile fondly at the retreating form of her strange older brother. Once he's gone, Sakura quietly asks, "Did his older brother die?" Seika looks thoughtful for a moment, before saying, "I guess you could say that." Naruto slumps in his chair, ironically exhausted by the older boy's exuberant personality. "How are you two siblings?" He asks incredulously. "You look the same but you act so different!" Seika smiles. "We get that a lot." Sasuke, as usual, remains silent. Kakashi assumes he's brooding on his murderous relationship with his older brother, comparing it to this ridiculous farce of a family. Kakashi can't help but ask. "Why does Ren keep referring to his 'past life' and what did he mean by hallucinating our pasts and futures?" For the first time since meeting the girl, Seika seems slightly uncomfortable. Strange, since she seemed hardly nonplussed by her brother's strange behaviors, though admittedly by now she must be used to them. Seika sighs. "Ren… is a little… strange."

Sasuke snorts. "That's putting it politely."

The girl's eyes narrow in warning. "Don't insult my brother. He's lived twice the life you have."

Kakashi and Sasuke start speaking at the same time, saying; "He doesn't look old enough to be twenty four," and "What does his age have to do with anything?" respectively.

Seika shakes her head. "He's eighteen. And his mind has twice as many memories as you or I. Memories of a whole other lifetime."

"It's not nice to talk about people behind their back, you know." I say, bringing in the tea set. Brewing the leaves was good for me, and the slight break in conversation helped me come off my high from seeing Naruto characters in real life and come into the room less hyper. My sister always knew what I needed. I sit next to her and lean my head on her shoulder. My head bobs as she shrugs. "You always told me to tell the truth."

I frown at her, "Yeah, but you don't have to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." I poke her in the ribs and she swats my hand away. "What if I didn't want them to know that I inexplicably know their whole life stories?"

"Then you shouldn't have said that." Seika tells me flatly. I look at the ninja's shocked faces. "Oops."

"Explain." Kakashi demands.

"You want to know your own story?" I ask. "That's a little self centered."

Kakashi glares and I sigh. "Fine." I put on an airy voice and gain a faraway look in my eyes. "~Give me your palms and I will read you your fate. But set forth not, the hand of the cowardly, for once you know, you can never go back~" I hold out my hands expectantly. Seika elbows me hard in the ribs. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Just tell them normally and get it over with."

"Okay, okay," I grumble. "Spoilsport." Seika unfortunately doesn't rise to the bait and start an argument to stall my impending doom. I sigh dejectedly. "You three are tragic sob stories," I say, motioning to the boys. "but you get happy endings. And you are completely normal." I say to Sakura. I see her face fall slightly and add on, "But you'll get really strong once you grow out of your crush on dark and broody here." She blinks and glances at Sasuke.

"Oh! Oh! Will I get strong?" Naruto asks excitedly.

"Hell yeah you will!" I say grinning. "You could say you'd be one of a million!"

"Don't you mean one _in_ a million?" Seika asks.

"Nope. One of a million. A million Naruto's!" I answer proudly.

"Oh!" Naruto's eyes widen. "You mean shadow clones!"

"Maybe." I say. "Just remember to befriend foxy before you make a _million_."

"What about me?" Sasuke asks quietly. I pretend I don't hear him.

"Anyone else?" Sasuke repeats himself. "What? I can't hear you." He grits his teeth. "I said. What. About. Me."

"Oh you!" I clap my hands together and pretend to think. "Yes, you'll get strong… as long as…"

"As long as what?"

I look him seriously in the eyes. "Sasuke. If a cross-dressing man with a big snake offers you power… he only wants you for your body."


	2. Your mom calls you liver?

The next day sees us up at the crack of dawn as always. Mom and dad are out already, working tirelessly to finish the harvest in the time given. They still don't quite believe that the ninja will be able to take care of the bandits and they aren't willing to risk what will happen if we didn't have the food as promised when they come to take it away. The ninja by the way, are staying in our house since it was Seika's idea to hire them, and the other villagers are too wary of shinobi to keep them in their homes. We eat in relative silence besides the casual arguing between Naruto and Sasuke. I ask Kakashi what his book is about, but he just smiles and ignores me. We finish up, Seika does the dishes, and we make our way to the field. I smile and stretch, taking a deep breath of the morning air. I love it here. The sky is clear, the morning star twinkling above. The grass is damp and misty, promising to be a very hot day once the fog burns off. I remember dreaming I could live in a place like this, back when I felt trapped in a grimy city. I wave at some of my friends I see also making their way to the fields. It was decided that all the youth of the village would be working together for the duration of the ninja's stay. That way we can be guarded against kidnapping attempts, just in case the bandits come early, see we had hired shinobi, and decide to take one of us hostage. We spread out, and team seven walks around the edges. I hum a bit, but stop when Kakashi comes near. He stops his patrol for a while to stare at me over his book. He moves on eventually but I feel his eyes on me long after he passes. He comes around again and this time just stays there. After a while of uncomfortable silence I straighten up. "Do you need anything Kakashi?" I ask.

"Hm? Oh, I was just wondering," He starts, "What you meant when you told Naruto to befriend 'foxy' before making a million shadow clones."

I stare at him. "A million what?" I ask. When in doubt, play dumb. Now that I was able to sleep on the idea that there are Naruto characters in this world, I'm able to put at least a little more thought into what I say in front of these sneaky sneaks. I'm still incredibly impulsive in this life, but at least now I realize it might not be a good idea to let the killers know that I know more than I should.

Kakashi explains, "Yesterday you told us Naruto would become strong enough to make a million Narutos but you warned that he should befriend 'foxy' before making a million. What did you mean?"

"I said that?" I ask. "I wouldn't pay it much mind. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about most of the time. I don't have much of a filter." To prove my point I shout, "Squirrel!" and point over his shoulder. I loudly laugh at my own joke and get back to picking, in hopes he'll leave.

* * *

I hum a little and wiggle my toes in the dirt. I pick a spinach leaf to munch on while I take a little rest. I continue to pick when suddenly I feel it. I stand straight up, eyes wide. "Seika! Seika, Seika, Seika!" I yell. A grin is plastered over my face as I leap over rows of greens to get to my sister. "Guess what?"

She barely looks up as I approach. "What?"

"I'm not dead!" I shout.

Seika looks up at that, an astonished look on her face. "Really?" She asks, switching to the language I taught her that only the two of us know. It's the language from my memories and I follow suit.

"I'm alive! Woooohooo!" I start to dance around the garden, hollering and singing in glee.

"Don't step on the vegetables idiot and tell me more!" Seika yells. I take her hands and smile. "I was just thinking about how many more fields we have to do Seika, and I counted them all off in my head. I was sure I got them all, but I still felt like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me! There must be more life to remember, for me to forget you know? So that must mean I survived the lightning strike!"

Seika looks doubtful of my analysis, "Are you sure? You could just be forgetting one of the fields."

I shake my head. "No! I remember every one. Let me prove it too you…"

Kakashi watches from the sidelines as the two peculiar farm siblings speak to each other in what sounds to be gibberish.

"Well, you got them all…" Seika says, still dubious.

"I told you so!"

She smacks my arm playfully. "Looks like I'll be getting my bedtime stories back right?"

I put on a somber face and stroke my chin, "I don't know Seika, aren't you getting a bit old for bedtime stories?"

"Aren't to getting too old to make up imaginary worlds?" She retorts.

"Never!" I exclaim.

Seika smiles happily. "Good. Never change Ren. Now back to work!"

"Yes ma'am!" I salute. "Let's get to it! These greens won't pick themselves!"

* * *

That evening I collapse at the dinner table, content with a day's hard work. I sigh and stretch my arms and legs out, happy to relax after a day of bending over. BANG! A loud crash sounds next to my ear and I fall out of my chair. I look up and see Seika looking smug with two pots that she had just hit together. "What was that for!?" I yell in indignation.

"Manspreading." She says simply. I groan, regretting I ever taught her that term from my memories. From the kitchen we hear mom yelling. "Seika! Stop lazing about and help me cook dinner! Just because the field work is done for today doesn't mean you're excused from house work!" I see the look on my sister's face, and though I'm still annoyed that she banged pots next to my ear I jump up from my spot on the floor. "I'll do it mother!" I say, sprinting off to the kitchen.

No sooner do I enter than I'm kicked right back out. "Oh no you don't." My mom says to me. "You stay here and entertain our guests."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" I ask.

"No," Mom scowls, "You're a man. And men don't do housework when they have women to do it. You're far too girly as it is, and Seika is practically a boy. She's manlier than you are. It'll be a miracle if either of you get married and give me grandchildren."

" _Mom_." I growl. "I like to cook, and Seika doesn't. Why don't you just let me do the work?"

Mom is about to retort when Seika cuts in. "It's fine Ren. I don't mind, really. And cooking isn't that bad, I'm sure it'll get more fun once I'm better at it." Seika gives me _the_ _look_ that tells me to shut up. "What are we having for dinner Mother?" She diverts. I watch as my two most important women in this life walk out of the room. I can't help the sad smile that crosses my lips. Seika really does resemble myself in my memories: always the mediator, the good girl, sacrificing herself to keep the peace, to keep the family together. And mother, she's so different from my moms in my past life, though perhaps that is due more to the different worlds they live in, rather than personality. I could never speak to mother about my beliefs on gender fluidity and equality like I could to my moms or brother or even Seika.

I hear Kakashi cough awkwardly. I spin around to face them with a big fake smile on my face.

"Why would your mom call you liver?" Naruto asks.

I blink trying to figure out what he was talking about. "Oh! Chopped liver. I use that as a synonym for useless."

I notice with amusement Sasuke's scowl deepens. "Tch. I don't know what you're talking about. Chopped liver is delicious."

"hn." I grunt noncommittally. "Sakura," I start, thinking it rather cute how she blushes when I say her name, in the most brotherly way possible I must add! I'm not a pedophile. "Do you think you could teach me some ninja skills?" If possible she turns even pinker. "W- why me?" She squeaks. "Why not Kakashi sensei, or Sasuke?" I shrug. "They don't seem like they'd be as good a teacher as you." I watch as she attempts to act coy while preening under my gaze. This is kind of getting weird. Innocent puppy crushes on older boys are fine but… I mean you'd think she'd never seen a shirtless guy before with the way she was staring at me today in the field. I mean, sure, the farm boy lifestyle makes for a rock'n body, but surely not compared to shinobi. Then again, from what I know, ninja tend to train with their clothes on, so mine could very well be the first six pack Sakura has ever seen. Oh well? I guess that's okay. She could use a distraction from Sasuke anyway, and teaching something is the best way to cement your own understanding for something. Maybe I can fast forward the process of her becoming awesome, though if she just becomes a fangirl to me, that might prove to be a problem. "Naruto doesn't seem like a verbal processer," I continue my explanation, "Sasuke's too impatient," I say, ignoring the boys' protests, "and Kakashi's a lazy bum. But you seem like the perfect teacher. I bet you have a lot of brains behind that pretty forehead of yours."

(While Sakura beams and fawns over Ren's compliments, Kakashi has been getting steadily more suspicious of the eccentric farm boy. He seems to know too much about each of their personalities from just a couple days of observation, and even if he is just very perceptive, he still knew exactly what to say to get Sakura to agree to teach him, even going so far as to compliment her greatest physical insecurity. Why did he target Sakura? Did he think she was the easiest to manipulate? Then why would he do it in front of her sensei?)

"Why do you want to learn ninja skills?" Kakashi asks neutrally, not giving away the suspicion and curiosity behind his words.

I turn to look at the masked ninja, having nearly forgotten he was there in favor of watching the much more interesting children. "Well," I say, thinking seriously for once, "These bandits have been targeting our village for as long as I can remember. Every year they come take our hard earned food for extortion, leaving us barely enough to eat, let alone to sell. Seika has always wanted to go to school, but that's just not possible in our current situation. I want to hope for a better life for my friends and family, and though Seika is only four years younger than me, she's still very naïve. It was her idea to hire you, and while I agree that we can't just sit back and do nothing, what's to say once these bandits are gone, more won't take their place? We're a small village. Easily taken advantage of. I want to change that. I want to know that if someone comes to hurt my family, that there will be something I can _do_ about it." I glance around at team seven's surprised reactions to my heartfelt speech. I chuckle hesitantly and scratch the back of my head. I remember doing the action a lot in another body, mimicking the nervous actions I saw in anime show boys, but now the movement comes naturally. Kakashi's eyes are wide and I hear him whisper something sounding like "Will of Fire." I blush furiously and stand up. "I better go check on how dinner is coming along." I excuse myself and walk out of the room. _Will_ _of Fire indeed_. I'm just doing what anyone else would do. No need for theatrics. And definitely no need for anime clichés. I'm just a misfit farm boy who used to be a misfit city girl. I'm not a hero.

* * *

That night in Seika and my shared room, we settle into our futons. I click off the light and let the light of the moon outline the silhouette of my beautiful sister. "So? Spill it!" She demands.

"Okay." I chuckle at her enthusiasm. "So I wake up in the hospital right, and I'm all confused and the nurse came in and said I got struck by lightning, which I kinda figured, but that's only cause I was awake to think about it, whereas _I_ wasn't, you know?"

Seika shakes her head and I try to explain.

"Well I was awake this whole time thinking. I was awake, right, but _I_ , _Rebecca_ , _Girl-me_ , wasn't. So while I had time to go over my last memories, _I_ , _she_ didn't. Get it?" I ask.

"Oh." She nods. "Yeah. Go on."

"Right, so the nurse tells me I got struck by lightning and I'd gotten really badly burned so they had to put me under so that I wouldn't feel the pain."

"For two weeks?" Seika interrupts.

I shrug. "That's the weird part. She said they actually only had me under for a few days, but then I wouldn't wake up. I was like, in a coma."

It's hard to tell just by the dim light of the moon, but Seika looks concerned. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Probably." I tell her. "Everyone was all worried, but they were really relieved that I woke up." We lie in silence for a while, taking in the quiet night. The wind blows through the trees by our house, the old building creaks and it reminds me of the movie Totoro. "This is all really cool you know?" I continue in a quieter tone. "I've never been unconscious that long, or at all except sleep. And it makes sense now too. That I didn't remember anything for a while since there wasn't anything to remember. Although maybe… do you dream in a coma? I usually remember dreams after the fact, so maybe I'll remember it later on. It's so weird to remember remembering. I mean, remembering something in a memory, or remembering a time when you remembered something. It's like inception, you know, that story I told you about?"

Seika nods. "Yeah. That was even more confusing and complicated than your convoluted mind. I could barely stay awake for that one." I chuckle at the irony and we both turn in for the night.

* * *

Seika tells me to put my shirt back on the next day in the fields. "Why?" I ask, genuinely confused. My body runs a bit hotter than most, and having so many memories of not being able to take my shirt off for having boobs, now that I'm male I like to go bare-chested whenever I can. It may not be that common here, but no one thinks it's indecent.

Seika glares at me as if she thinks I'm playing dumb, which I admit I can't complain about since I do that an awful lot. This time though I really have no clue what she's talking about. "Stop corrupting the minds of the young children Ren!" Seika scolds.

Now I'm really confused. "Our cousins have all seen me shirtless before." I point out.

Seika rolls her eyes. "Not them, idiot. I'm talking about Sakura."

I gape at her. "She's only two years younger than you, Seika."

"So? She's staring at you like a hunk of meat!"

"How is that my fault?" I protest.

"It's your fault because you're the one refusing to wear a shirt." I can see Seika is getting irritated but I don't care, cause so am I. "Wow Seika. You know I'm all for gender equality, but slut shaming your older brother? That's harsh."

"Oh my god Ren! Just put your freakin' shirt on!" Seika yells.

"No!" I yell back. I watch in confused frustration as my little sister stomps off. "Don't step on the crops Seika!" I yell after her.

"I'm not, you jerk!"

I sigh and turn back to picking greens.

* * *

Things are somewhat tense between Seika and I for the rest of the day. I thought over what she was so upset about that morning and I think I understood. I remember what it was like when my brother brought his first girlfriend home, how Mom and Mama and I acted so catty and jealous. I had to catch Seika for a talk before she managed to run off to make dinner with mother, a testament to how angry she was at me. "You know I love you right?" I ask.

"Yeah, I know." Seika mumbles.

"You're my little sister and no one will ever replace you." I tell her, forcing her to look me in the eye.

I smile softly and give her a hug. "I'm nowhere near mature enough to start thinking about having a romance, so you don't have to worry. And even when I do, I'll still love you. You're my perfect, beautiful, favorite sister."

Seika chuckles and hugs me tighter. "I'm your only sister you idiot."

"Yeah." I say back. "I'm still gonna take my shirt off in the field though." She takes a step back and glares. "What? It's hot out there!" I argue. "Sakura's a prepubescent kunoichi from Konohagakure. She'll be gone in two weeks tops so there's nothing wrong with letting her enjoy the scenery while she's here." Seika punches me hard in the arm. "Ow!" I yell.

"You're such a show off!" Seika tells me. She's frowning, but I can tell in her eyes that we're good now.

"What can I say?" I tell her. "You and I are sexy."

"Sure." She says. "We've also never seen a mirror. We can't afford one, remember?"

"Yeah, but I can see you." I reason. "And everyone says we look exactly alike, so if you're hot, you must have gotten your good looks from your fabulous older brother."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works Ren."

"Well either way, I am the original." I boast.

"Yeah, no. That's not how that works." Seika confirms her earlier statement.

"Really?" I ask. "Pray tell then, how it works." I do my best innocent face and add my baby voice. It's an unbeatable combination and I call it blue magnum. "Big sister Seika? How are babies made?"

"Fucking." Seika says flatly, face in a smirk. I gasp conspiratorially and whisper, "Big sister said a bad word." An evil idea pops into my head and I go on in my baby voice, "I wonder what it means. Should I go ask? Mommy? What does fucking mean?" Seika's eyes go wide and she launches at me to cover my mouth. I dodge her attempts and call out; "Mo-ther! Seika said a bad wo-ord!"

"Shut up!" She tells me frantically.

I smirk. "Now she'd being mean!"

"I'll show you mean!" Seika jumps on my back for an unsolicited piggyback ride and clamps a hand over my mouth and nose. "Mmmph mmn!" I protest. She shrieks as I lick her hand covering my mouth but doesn't let go. I jump up and down for a while; trying to buck her off, then start spinning in circles to spin her off. Little devil's grip is like a clamp though and in the end we both end up on the floor in a dizzy tangled mess. Mother comes in, takes one look at us, sighs, decides we're hopeless and goes to make dinner by herself. Seika and I look at each other and burst out laughing.


	3. Potato babies!

Sitting at the dinner table, it is clear to see how stressed and worn father is. He was the most reluctant to hire shinobi, for fear that the bandits who have been terrorizing us for years would retaliate to our disobedience. It is an uncommon worry among the village, since most merely distrust the shinobi themselves.

Father is a kind man, if a bit distant. He usually doesn't speak unless necessary, so it comes as a surprise when he does tonight, in front of strangers no less. "Tell us a story Ren." I look up at my father's soft command. Slowly I put my chopsticks down. "What kind of story father?"

"The one about the girl from the city." My father says. "Or have you not had any inspiration yet? I know recently you were unsure what would happen next after she was struck by lightning."

I shake my head. "No, I can continue that one. I actually got my… inspiration… just recently." By now all of team seven has stopped their arguing and is looking at me.

My mother beams. "Oh, wonderful, Ren!" She says. "I like that story the best. It has so much more depth than your other ones."

 _That's_ _because_ _the_ _other_ _ones_ _really_ _are_ _just_ _stories_ , I think wryly. I take a breath and recall my most recent memories of another world. "Rebecca wakes up, rising from the dark of unconsciousness to the blinding white of a hospital room." I pause for dramatic effect, "She's disoriented, confused, and doesn't know where she is. She's weak and her body feels numb. In her arm are tubes of life supporting fluid, but that is not what catches her attention. All down her arm and what else she can see of her body, red branches line her skin. The burns resemble electricity, she thinks, and then it all comes back to her. The storm. Standing in the field. Dancing in the rain. Thunder roaring overhead. Feeling the tingling in her fingers as her hair stands on end. Then, the light. The heat. The pain. Darkness. She looks up from her burned arms to see a nurse rush into the room. "You were hit by lightning" The nurse eventually confirms. She tells her how lucky she was that her heart wasn't struck. She was burned and will most likely have scars for life, but she is alive. When the doctors had brought her in, they were able to stabilize her vitals, and bandage most of her burns. And yet she didn't wake up. Various hospital machines showed her brain had constant heightened activity, as if the electricity from the shock was still bouncing around inside her skull. It was almost as if she were dreaming, something very uncommon for people in a coma. They didn't know when or if she would ever wake up. But she did. She woke up and went home to her ecstatic family. She apologized for making them worry. They told her she was being ridiculous because that is what family is for. Mama cooked her favorite foods, and big brother Joseph came home to visit. He told her how he couldn't believe his beautiful little sister turned into such a badass with lightning scars. They read stories together, stories about the fabled boy who lived with the lightning scar on his forehead. Joseph told her that her scar was way cooler. They walked and they talked, just like old times. Far too soon though, Joseph had to go home. That was when Rebecca began to write again to take up her free time. She wrote… about us. She wrote about Seika and Ren and Naruto and Kakashi and Sakura and Sasuke and Mother and Father. And Mom looked at her writing and told her how good it was."

They all sit in silence for a moment. Naruto crosses his arms. "So? Why'dya stop talking? What happens next?"

I smile at him. "I don't know yet." I tell him.

"Wha!?" He exclaims, "But you can't just end it there! How does Reebockah know about us? What did she write?"

"Good question." I tell him. "I'm just as curious as you are. And as to what she wrote, it started with a conversation I had with Seika two years ago and then skipped to when you guys arrived. But anyway, I'd love to tell you a different story, but I'm sure it can't be nearly as interesting as the ones you guys probably have. Why don't you tell us a story of some great adventure you've been on! Tell us, what's it like to be a ninja? Have you rescued any princesses? Mightily smited your evil foes?" Of course, my alternate motive to getting the spotlight off me is also to find out where in the plot they are. I may be the village idiot, but I'm no fool. Naruto goes on to describe in great, over exaggerated detail, their mission to wave, and I smile and listen along, thoroughly enjoying myself.

* * *

Once dinner is over and we've cleared all the dishes, I take Sakura by the wrist and pull her into the living area. "Come on, Sakura!" I yell to the pink haired kunoichi. "Let's have some girl time!"

"O-okay," She stutters, "But you're not a girl."

"Doesn't matter." I tell her. I considered telling her that I was indeed a girl and then rolling in the hilarity of watching her being shocked out of her mind and saying I was more handsome than Sasuke in a wonderful parody of when Naruto thought Haku was prettier than Sakura, but… Well she's already seen me shirtless and I'm more gender neutral than anything so instead I say nothing. We sit down and I start to play with her hair. "Ah, Sakura! Your hair is so pretty!" I tell her. "This is so much fun. Seika never lets me play with her hair." I pout.

"That's because by play, you mean mess up!" Seika shouts from the kitchen where she's doing dishes. "Don't let him touch your hair, he's like a cat; he'll just get it tangly."

"Aw, you're so mean!" I say jokingly as I finish off braiding Sakura's bangs into antennae. "So tell me," I change the subject, "Do you guys play kissing tag at shinobi school?" I ask.

Sakura turns her head to look at me and I tut as it messes up the braid I'm working on next. "Kissing tag?" she asks.

"Yeah." I tell her. "When I was a girl, I liked this boy named Will. I was little so I thought the best way to show that I liked him was to kiss him. He thought it was icky though and wouldn't let me do it, so I had to catch him first. Thus started the game of kissing tag; the game of tag where the boys got chased by the girls. The other version was tickle tag, and in that one it was the boys who chased us. Course they all knew I'd scratch anyone who even tried to tickle me, so mostly we just played normal tag. I wasn't very athletic back then because of my illness, so I had to wait until Will went to sleep for naptime to be able to kiss him on the cheek. When he did, he got mad and said that was cheating, but the teacher told him to quiet down. After that, Will was determined to get me back, and tried to chase me down, but I didn't mind and I let him catch me. He said that since I cheated, he had to kiss me on the lips."

"Did he?" Sakura asked, riveted.

I shrug now, a little embarrassed. "Well we were only three, so it was more like he smooshed our faces together for a fraction of a second. I still call that my first kiss though, since it's so cute." And it was my only kiss that I know of. Kinda sad really, one kiss when I was three and then no action at all for fifteen plus years… Come to think of it, I've never kissed anyone in this life either.

"Wow…" Sakura says dreamily. "That's so romantic."

Not really, I think. He ended up going to a different middle school, cut his hair, and spoiled a major Naruto plot point when I found him on facebook years later. "Um. Yeah, so do you have anything like that?" I ask.

Sakura shakes her head. "No, unfortunately."

I stroke my chin, thinking. "Well it's not too late. All you gotta do is challenge Sasuke to a race or something and declare whoever wins gets whatever prize they want from the other. Then when you win, you say you want a kiss, and he'll be so embarrassed he lost that he'll want a rematch."

Sakura looks excited for exactly two point six seconds, then wilts. "That'll never happen." She says sadly. "I'll never catch up to Sasuke."

"Don't say never. Train harder and you will. I believe in you. Just pick something you're good at." I smile kindly at her, enjoying both the hopeful way she looks up at my words, and the ridiculous amounts of braids I put in her hair. It's still better than what I do to Seika most of the time, (which generally amounts to me trying to generate as much static electricity as possible by rubbing her head before she pushes me off), but it does look a bit silly. I decide to try and pull the rest of her unbraided hair into a bun, and it surprisingly looks really good. I smirk inwardly at my evil plan to turn Sakura and Sasuke into mortal rivals.

* * *

That night, Seika and I went to bed as early as possible to talk over my most recent memories. "You remembered _us_?" Seika exclaims as soon as we reach our shared room.

"Yeah," I say slowly. "I remember writing about us. It started off with a conversation we had about two years ago, and then skipped to right when the ninja showed up."

"Weird."

"Yeah. I wonder if … well it makes me question the whole reincarnation theory. Would I really get reincarnated into my own story?" I ask.

"I don't see why not." Seika points out.

"Yeah." I shrug. "It just seems unlikely."

Seika rolls her eyes. "You serious? This whole thing is unlikely."

"I know. It's just; it makes me wonder if we're not connected in another way. Like, if I remember her life, maybe she remembers mine." I muse.

Seika looks up at her bangs, the way she does when she's thinking. "Is that what it felt like?"

"I don't know." I answer truthfully. "It just felt like I was writing a story, except the story was about us. Curiouser and curiouser. Maybe we are a story. Perhaps Reba is the author of this world, our creator, our god. Imagine that, being granted the memories of god. But why would she start at the middle? Don't creation stories start at the beginning? Well who am I to question God? Wait, if Rebecca is god, and I have her memories, does that mean I am the messiah?"

Seika face palms. "You don't actually believe that, do you?"

"No." I laugh. "I'm not religious leader material. Though that would make a really good fanfiction; the story of a person reborn into their favorite story and believing they are the messiah because they know the future."

Seika doesn't answer for a while, and I think our conversation is done when she starts up again. "Do you think we'll ever know the answer?

"We already do." I tell her.

She whips her head around at that. "What is it?" Her body language belies the curiosity she tries to hide in her tone. I smirk playfully.

"42: The answer to life, the universe and everything." I tell her, waiting for her to explode.

"Oh come on! Ren!" She shouts, just as I expected. I smile. There's really nothing like messing with a younger sister.

"Seriously. That's the answer." I say, "We just don't know the question."

Seika leveled a death glare at me that could crack stone. I shivered. No wonder Joseph was scared of me. The little sister stare is not a thing to be trifled with. "All right." I say. "In all seriousness, no. I don't think we'll ever really know the answer. That won't stop me from coming up with possibilities though. If you think about it, god is really a personification of the unknown, and creativity and imagination are what we use to take on the unknown. So in that way, I guess, using my imagination is my way of knowing god. Or perhaps, since even the term 'knowing' implies the use of a mind, then thought its self could be the very essence of god."

"Uhg!" Seika groans. "You're putting me to sleep with your circular theology!"

"Good night then." I tell her promptly. "Was man made in the image of god, or was god made in the image of man?"

"Good night!" Seika grumbles. I chuckle softly and we both go to sleep.

* * *

Breakfast goes as usual the next morning. Near the end when I'm picking up the dishes, Kakashi clears his throat. "May I have a word with you outside Ren?" He asks.

"Sure." I say. "Do you want to stand in a field and scare some crows?" I almost catch him rolling his eye at me. We walk out of the house and continue on in silence. The farther from the fields, the more confused I get. "Uh, Kakashi, I thought you wanted to have a word, not a walk."

Kakashi merely smiles, the only indication of said action being the tiny wrinkles appearing at the corner of his visible eye. I get the feeling he's testing me or something. I decide that if he's not going to say anything, I might as well keep up the conversation by myself. "You know it's kind of ironic, don't you think? A scarecrow having crow's feet?" He gives me an inquisitive look. "The wrinkles next to your eye." I explain. "Aren't you a bit young to have wrinkles? How old are you anyway? It's hard to tell when I can't see the rest of your face. Plus your hair is grey, sorry silver." Kakashi remains silent, watching me as we walk. I sigh. "Not that I don't want to talk to you, but can we get on with it so I can get back to the fields? Today's potato day and whoever harvests the most potatoes always wins the right to name any babies born for the year."

"Really?" Kakashi asks sounding vaguely interested. Finally! He speaks!

"Yeah," I say, " But there haven't been many births recently. I think the youngest kid is Sakio, and he's four. Five. Something like that. We've been having some fertility issues and a higher infant mortality than we'd like. Mostly because the draught last year and the fact that our population is so small to begin with." I wait but Kakashi says nothing to this, putting me on edge. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind silence, Seika and I sit outside for hours sometimes together, just saying nothing. But silence is very much like a blanket; sharing it with your sister is very different from sharing it with a stranger who clearly wants something from you. I look up at the sky, giving up on trying to get Kakashi to speak. It's a bit overcast. It'll probably rain tonight. Kakashi stops walking and I almost walk into his back. Almost.

"So." He says, totally casually, "What kind of ninja skills do you want to learn?"

I blink a few times, letting his words sink in. "Wha…?" My eyes widen. "You brought me out here to teach me? Why didn't you say so?" I jump up and down excitedly. "This is way better than naming babies!"

"I never said I was going to teach you." Kakashi says, whipping out his book.

I stop jumping to stare at him. I give out a long, frustrated sigh. "Would you just stop with the mind games already!" I shout at the top of my lungs. "I have enough of that! Just because my brain's so full of nonsense that it's bursting out of my ears doesn't mean I have to put up with your bullshit!"

"Why do you want Sakura to teach you?" Kakashi asks, ignoring my childish outburst.

I pause, and think about my answer. "I guess I just thought it would be good for everybody. I'd get to protect my family, and Sakura would get a little more attention. It must be hard for her being on a team with those two boys. As a saying goes in my old life, 'the squeaky wheel gets the grease', but that doesn't mean the others don't need it just as much."

Kakashi blinks. "You think Sakura doesn't get enough attention?"

"Course she dosen't! How could she with the last Uchiha and the future Hokage on her team? Just cause she doesn't come from somewhere special doesn't mean she should just be ignored. Sure, she's a little boy crazy, but with a little direction, that can be honed, or even put to good use. She could be a seduction specialist when she gets older or just use Sasuke as her motivation to get stronger. And she has perfect chakra control too! She could walk up the tree on her first try! That's what Naruto said. Just think what else she could do! She could-"

Kakashi holds up his hand and I stop my rant. It's been a while since I was able to nerd out in either of my lives, so I kinda got carried away. I feel a bit bad for criticizing Kakashi's teaching so much, but he pretty much deserved it.

"How do you know about Sasuke?" Kakashi asks.

"Huh?" I think back through what I just said to figure out what he's talking about. "Oh! Sakura told me during girl talk. Did you know that Sasuke goes to bed with his hair wet and that's why it sticks up in the back?" She actually did tell me these things, which is another reason I tried to get to bed early and get away from her, besides wanting to talk to Seika about my memories. Unfortunately she insisted I help her undo all my lovely braids I put in her hair, and I had to listen to her gush about Sasuke as I did. "Sakura said she used to visit in the evening to say goodnight to him, and he'd always be in pajamas with wet hair by eight o clock. She thinks he never changed his bedtime from when his parents were alive. She also told me his pajamas are-"

"Okay then!" Kakashi cuts me off like I hoped he would. "Go on back to your farming or whatever."

"Can I train with Sakura tonight?" I ask.

"I'll think about it." Kakashi says.


	4. Really bad at meditating

A/N: ach, do you know how hard it is to write in present tense? I keep reverting back to past. Tell me if I missed anything. Also, if any of you come up with a better summary for this story, please PM me.

* * *

Due to my late start, I wasn't able to harvest the most potatoes before noon.

Unlike anywhere that could afford it, our little nameless village doesn't eat lunch. Instead we eat whatever we can secretly pilfer from the fields as we harvest, and then we have a mid day water break, to wash the dirt off our hands between crops, and fill our gourd canteens. It is at this time, when we're all gathered around the well that I see Kakashi summon one of his dogs. There's a puff of smoke and then suddenly there's a dog and oh my god puppy!

"Oh my goodness! You're so cute! Is he friendly? Can I pet him?" I gush instantly. "~Hello puppy!" I squeal.

"That's Uhei" Kakashi says from behind his book. "You're lucky. Most ninken would take offense at being called a cute puppy. Pakkun certainly would."

I laugh as Uhei licks my face. "I like you." The dog says. "No one ever calls me the cute one."

"But you're so adorable!" I scratch behind his ears, through a hole in his bandages. "Why are you here?"

"I summoned him." Kakashi cuts in. I ignore him.

"Are you a messenger?" I ask the dog.

"Mnm… yeah…" He answers, eyes closed and thoroughly enjoying my petting.

Kakashi rolls his eyes. "Traitor." He mutters.

"What was that?" I ask, looking up at Kakashi for the first time.

"Oh, nothing." He smiles, "I'm just sending Uhei back with a mid-mission report, so if you'll just let go…"

"No!" Uhei and I both shout. Kakashi sweat drops.

"I've never had a dog before, but I always loved the ones on campus at my boarding school." I say to Uhei, ignoring Kakashi once again. "Are there any summon rats?" I ask. "I haven't had any pets here, but I had pet rats in my past li-" I cut myself off, caring more what this dog thinks of me than most humans, "um in my past, but mother won't let me have any here since she says they're vermin and will eat the crops."

"There's- ah, right there! There's summon animals that resemble rats, but they're bigger and live longer." Uhei says.

"Really?" My eyes light up. "I wish I could meet one!"

Kakashi coughs, "I really must send that report. Uhei?" The dog nods, and slowly gets up from his position on the ground where I was scratching his tummy. He takes the offered scroll from Kakashi and dashes off, leaving a gust of wind in his wake.

"So," Kakashi says after a while, once I've filled my canteen. "How'd you know Uhei was a messenger?"

I shrug and take a sip of water. "He looked fast. I didn't know you guys wrote mid-mission reports."

"That's what you mention after meeting a talking dog? You are one strange civilian."

I give him the side eye, as I take another sip of water. I'm almost positive ninja don't writ mid-mission reports, and even if they did, Kakashi doesn't seem like the person to do them. I think Kakashi is telling someone about me, but maybe I'm just paranoid. I don't speak my suspicions out loud, instead saying, "I don't know why everyone finds it so necessary to remind me of my peculiarities all the time. It's a bit like stating the obvious."

* * *

We head to the riverbank to harvest rice after our water break. This is usually my favorite thing to harvest, since I love wading in the water and using my sickle, but it's gotten really cloudy since this morning and a chilly wind rises goose bumps on my skin. I can smell the rain in the air, all the more reason we have to finish this up before nightfall. We don't know how much it will rain, and if the river will flood. I mention this to Seika, and she agrees that we should call over the rest of the villagers. We all harvest in silence, quiet urgency in the face of a storm. We move as one along the riverbank, cutting the stalks with our scythes until the dark of night falls upon us. We float lanterns in the water, little glowing boats on ropes, tied to our belts as they follow along behind us. The moon is out by the time we're done, the weather having held out for us. The pressure of the oncoming storm is making me tense, but I try to ignore it, as we all head inside after an extra long day. Inside, the fire is warm and soothing. I smile as the crackling heat warms my face and frozen hands. Seika hands me a cup of tea and I thank her. I take a sip and it instantly perks me up and gives me energy to start the job of thrashing to separate the grain from the stalks. All is quiet but for the sound of Mother and Seika cooking, and Father and I shaking out the rice. The ninja are outside, training or whatever it is they do, so for now it's just the family. It's a peaceful scene, and I can't help but wish this moment could last forever.

Dinner is comprised of boiled beans and onions. It's a bit bland, but it's filling and warm. I don't mind it, but I see Naruto make a face. He's promptly elbowed by Sakura, but I don't see her eat any either. They'll probably be feasting on their rations once they're out of our sight. I sigh, feeling bad that we haven't been able to feed the ninja much. We cleaned out our entire savings to hire them, and our food barely lasts us a year to begin with. I really, really hope they can take care of the bandits, because this has to stop.

"Sakura," I say, breaking the silence, "Can you possibly train me tonight?"

She opens her mouth to speak, but Kakashi cuts her off. "Of course." He says, "Sakura will be teaching you how to meditate." He gives me one of his blasted eye smiles.

I blink, surprised he's actually letting Sakura train me. Then the rest of his words sink in and I groan.

"Meditate?" I whine. "Can't you show me some actual fighting moves? I don't need to use chakra or anything, just how to throw and block a punch." It's not that I'm against meditating or anything, it's just that it's never worked for me. My mind is not a nice place to be stuck in, never has.

"Not so hasty Ren." Kakashi says. "You must have the mind of a fighter before the skills to do so."

I scowl at him, my bullshit detector going haywire. In my past life I'd agree with him, but this is a world where children become soldiers whether they're emotionally ready or not. I don't bring it up though, not in the mood for a confrontation.

* * *

"Ugh! How do I move something that I can't see or feel!" I groan in frustration, slumping out of my straight-backed meditation pose. Chakra exercises were going nowhere, and my mood down with it.

"Don't worry if you can't do it." Kakashi says, "You're bound to have difficulty since you're starting so late."

I glare at him. I know that, that's why I wanted to skip it and just learn taijutsu.

"It should feel like a whirlpool or rushing water!" Naruto adds in, trying to be helpful.

"No, Idiot. It feels like tingling." Sasuke says.

"I think it feels more like warmth." Sakura says.

I groan again and lie back on the floor. My little training session with Sakura turned into a lesson with the whole team, as it became clear that Sakura wasn't at all the one needing attention when compared to my sorry untalented ass. "Wait!" I say, bolting upright. "Is chakra anything like chi?"

"Chi?" Sakura asks, "Don't you mean ki?"

"Yeah sure." I say.

"Well," Sakura begins, "I don't know how much you want me to go into chakra theory, but basically ki is similar to chakra, only more heavily based on spiritual energy. It's more commonly used by priests and monks."

"Aha!" I shout. "Then I have an idea!" The ninja follow me outside, where I notice it still hasn't rained yet. I'm thankful for that, but it's a bit of a shame it seemed we rushed the harvest for nothing. I stand, and slowly, I begin to practice tai chi. The Yang style, 48 forms that I know from my memories, lasts about eleven minutes when performed properly slowly. That's eleven minutes the ninja watch me in rapt silence. My feet close, I straighten my legs, and walk back inside, standing tall.

"I have the energy in my hands, now what should I do?" I ask. Sakura gives me a leaf and tells me to try sticking it to my palm. I set it in the center of my hand, focusing all the energy I gathered from my movements there, and slowly raise my hand so it's vertical. We all watch as the leaf falls off my palm and flutters to the floor. There's silence for a bit. "Did, did I use too much and push it off?" I ask hopefully.

"Ah, no." Kakashi says. "I think the leaf just fell off." I crumple.

"Your dance thingy looked really cool though! Believe it!" Naruto assures me.

"It's tai chi," I mumble from my spot as a puddle on the floor, "but thanks."

"Where did you learn that form?" Sasuke asks.

"Past life." I say.

Kakashi claps his hands. "Well, why don't we try some normal meditation?" If possible I melt further. It took all the genin and I whining for ten minutes to get him to let me try chakra exercises instead of regular meditation. I'm convinced Kakashi is a sadist. I hate meditating. How can you 'breathe normally' when you're thinking about breathing? And how can you 'clear your head' when you're thinking about thinking? How can you 'not judge yourself' when your name is Ren/Reba/Rebecca? You can't, I can't, and that's why I hate meditating.

* * *

I try anyway.

It's not pleasant.

I sit with my legs crossed, posture straight, hands folded in my lap. I take a breath. _Breathe normally,_ I think. I breathe out.

 _That was normal!_ I think.

 _No it wasn't. Was it?_ I think.

 _Never mind, stop thinking_ I think.

 _Argh! I'm still thinking!_ I think.

 _Is this really gonna work?_ I think. _This sucks. I think. Why am I narrating my own thoughts? I think. I'm starting to hate the word think. I think. What if I start saying 'I think' after everything I say in real life? Can someone get brain damaged by meditating wrong? Let's not think about that. Ahh! Think! Let's not think about the word think. I did it again! Okay, stop! Let's thi- DISCUSS chakra. Yes, chakra. I wonder what chakra type I am. What if I'm lightning nature? That would be ironic. I wonder if your chakra nature can change from being struck by lighting. Or hit by a boulder. Or blown away. Or drowned. Or burned alive. Yeah, probably not. Oh damn! I'll never know my freaking chakra type if I can't channel chakra! I have to put it in paper or something. How does that even work? Is this even real? Is life a mystery? What is love? Baby don't hurt me~ oh shut up. Wait, do I have an inner? I do talk to myself sometimes when I'm lonely. What if Rebecca is my inner-_

"Relax." I feel a hand on my head and my eyes shoot open. It's Kakashi.

"I am relaxed!" I snap. _Okay, maybe not._

Naruto crosses his arms. "No you're not. Your face is all scrunched up like you're constipated." Sakura hits him. I take a deep breath and let it out. I close my eyes again. I try to tune out the sound of the genin bickering. I feel my face start to tense up from stress and concentrating too hard. I make it relax. Evil laughter rings at the back of my mind. I roll my eyes behind my lids. This happened in my past life too, so I know it's not some demon or anything. _It would be cool if it was though_ I think, and the laughing becomes maniacal. _Actually, that would suck. I don't want to be a jinchuriki or some super over powered OC. Not that either of those look to be happening any time in the near future._ The laughing turns into screams and I give up. This always happens when I try too hard. I open my eyes and get up. I tell the others I'm going to bed. Not long after I fall asleep, the rain starts coming down.

* * *

I thrash awake, long before dawn. I'm sweating and shaking terribly and I rip off the covers, only to shiver violently. My breathing slows as I listen to the drizzle on the roof. I consider going outside and taking a walk. The rain would feel refreshing and hopefully wake me enough to forget about my dreams. Deciding a walk is definitely in order, I start to get up, only to freeze as the sound of distant thunder meets my ears. "Never mind then." I mumble, getting back under my discarded blanket. Seika turns over and I consider waking her but her eyes open on their own.

"Can't sleep?" She asks.

I shake my head. "You?"

"Been up. Listening to the storm."

"Mm." I respond. "Glad I didn't wake you." We sit in silence for a while, listening to the pitter-patter of rain, until I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"You okay?" Seika asks. "You're shaking."

I turn to look at her hand. "Am I?"

"What's wrong?" She demands. I feel my lip tremble and I cover my face with my hands. She frowns, "Mother isn't here. You can cry Ren."

I shake my head, still hiding behind my hands. "I'm your big brother, why are you always comforting me?"

"Ren. Stop it. You're acting like her." While I'm very similar to my past life, there are a few marked differences. Mainly being that Reba has more of a stick up her ass. Well, Seika would say that that's Rebecca herself speaking, and that she's actually just bad at asking for help, and often puts herself down.

"I can't help it. Reality keeps on mixing up. Just- just treat me like, I'm acting normal. If… if that's not too much to ask. I'm sorry, I… I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you and-"

"Ren, it's okay." She firmly cuts me off. "You do take care of me. We have to support each other, okay? Is it the storm? Are you remembering the lightning strike?"

"Y-yeah, but before that, it was the dream."

"Tell me about it." Seika commands.

I send her pleading eyes, "I just want to forget."

"But you know that will never happen." She reminds me. "All you'll do is suppress it while it quietly eats away at you. Now tell me."

I let out a long sigh and pull my legs up to my chest. "I was, she was fighting with mom, I guess, don't remember what about. Then she stormed off into her room and started writing."

I shudder, and Seika starts rubbing circles on my back. "Go on," She says.

"She starts thinking of all these awful things that she could make happen to me, to us! I don't even want to say any of them in case they might come true. I was there beside her but she couldn't see me, and I kept on yelling at her to stop, but she didn't listen. I think it's symbolic how she has such an effect on me, but I don't have any on her. She's so real for me, but to her I'm just made up. I never thought about what it would be like to be a character and know your fate, like if I told those ninja downstairs, but now I do because I have no power over what Reba writes and what if she does end up making one of those terrible things happen and Seika, I don't think I can handle that!" I cry.

"Shh, Shh. Listen!" Seika says. "I have a whole argument to make you feel better, but you're gonna have to hear it to make it work. First of all, for all we know, this was just a dream. It wasn't a memory, just a dream. Second of all, the story Reba is writing may not have anything to do with us. Third, maybe you could have an effect on her, we just don't know how. Fourth, those ninja's story is already over, yet they're still experiencing change. We didn't show up in the original did we?"

"No, but this could just be an off screen mission…"

"Shut up." Seika snaps. "We don't know that. We don't know anything, and we never did." She smiles at me, "Never did, never will. Isn't that your motto? No use trying to figure out the unanswerable."

"Yeah, but now we know even more nothing." I groan. "It's like a whole 'nother vacuum of space times two. Infinity times infinity. Why did those ninja have to show up? Why did I have to dream about her? This is all because those stupid ninja made me meditate! Why can't- ug! I need my consistency! Why'd I have to get hit by lightning? Can't I just have a normal schedule of remembering another life's memories without going into comas, and fictional characters and dreams about my other self writing about myself in super meta confusing ways?"

This is when Seika hits me. I look at her in utter confusion. "What?"

"Don't you ever say you want to be normal again." She snarls.

"I didn't!" I protest. "I said I wanted a normal-" She gives me the death glare and I gulp. "Um, I wanted a regular schedule for weird shit. See? Only weird stuff for me. I'm all weird. Never normal."

"Good." Seika says finally.

I sigh. "It's hard though… It's really hard."

"I know Ren… I know."

Neither of us speaks. We just sit, leaning comfortingly into each other.

"Do you want to buy a duck?" I break the silence with the beginning of my favorite word game; smiling gratefully down at my little sister, dim light of morn beginning to filter through the window.

.

.

.

* * *

A/N: Is Ren a bit out of character in this chapter? Sorry it's not quite the usual lightheartedness. I'm not feeling so light hearted.


	5. Manure is a thing

Seika and I don't get back to sleep after our early start. And so the fifth day with the ninja begins. If all goes according to schedule, the bandits should arrive tomorrow. They have been known to show up early though, so we're all particularly tense. During breakfast I ask what the plan is. "How exactly are you going to act today? Like, what are you going to do differently? What are you going to do when the bandits come?" There's a definite tone of nervousness in my voice. I don't care.

"Well," Kakashi says, briefly glancing up from his book, "Today we'll do what we've been doing, and you all will finish up the harvest. Tomorrow we'll impersonate some of the farmers and wait at the meeting place for the bandits to show up."

"What if they come today?" Seika asks.

Kakashi waves his hand dismissively, "You go into hiding like every other year. We'll take care of it."

Seika rolls her eyes. "You're not being very reassuring."

"I trust them." I tell my sister, but something _has_ been bothering me. I wait until we're out of the house to pull Kakashi aside though. Seika is mature, but she's only 14. There's no need for her to hear my concerns. "Kakashi, I need to know," I begin, and I can tell I've gained his attention with my seldom-used serious tone, "are you going to kill them?"

Kakashi raises an eyebrow at me. Or at least the one I can see. "Who, the bandits? Probably not."

I look down for a moment, before he asks, "Why?"

My brow is furrowed when I look up at him. I answer with another question. "How are you going to… to stop them from harassing us?"

He gives me one of his infuriating eye smiles. "I thought you trusted us."

"I do." I continue to gaze at him, eyes hard.

Kakashi sighs. Perhaps my statement of trust sounded more like an accusation. Well, good. "Honestly, Naruto has taken a liking to you guys. He'll probably do most of the work and beat the crap out of the bandits for messing with his 'friends'. We'll break a few of their bones, and send them running with a warning."

I look down again. "Then what will happen to the bandits?" I ask.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what will they eat, where will they go?"

Kakashi blinks down at me in what I can only guess is incredulity. "Are you seriously concerned about your oppressors' welfare?"

"No." I deny, "I'm worried about next year. I'm worried about the next farm over. People aren't bandits by choice, they're thieves by necessity. What's keeping them from coming back? What other choice do they have?" I stare into his masked face as if he holds all the answers.

"Would you rather we kill them?" He asks neutrally.

"No!" My eyes widen in alarm. The eyebrow widens again and I explain, "That could make our village more of a target. There are always more bandits, and relatives and friends of the ones we killed. They'd want revenge." That, and even though (I assume) I am or have died, I'm not very comfortable with death.

"So what's your solution." Kakashi asks.

I take a deep breath. I feel like I'm back at school with all my answers being thrown back in my face by smiling teachers, saying, 'well what do you think?' I exhale slowly. "We have to be self reliant. We don't have the means to hire ninja all the time. We need our own security. Maybe a wall? A warrior?" I look up at the jonin with pleading eyes. "I need to learn how to defend my precious people. Please, if you teach me a few simple moves, I can teach the rest of the town, and we'll all be a little safer. You're our only hope." I tell him.

He looks away, not meeting my eyes. "I'll think about it."

* * *

The day goes on as usual as we pick the last of the crops. There's tension in the air, and everyone is nervous. Everyone, that is, except me. See, I had this self-enforced rule in my past life, that only one person was allowed to be upset at a time, meaning that if someone in the family was sad or angry first, or louder, then I had to suck it up and be the good girl. Sure, it was unpractical and unhealthy, but it was a coping method, and I never really got rid of it. So even though I'm probably just as anxious about the uncertain future as the rest of the village, I don't show it. I'm a man of this ramshackle community, and as such I have to be strong for them. I laugh and joke and sing songs and try to lighten the mood. I finally get Seika to laugh and out of the corner of my eye, I see them. The bandits. "How about a little break?" I ask the rest of our group. With one look over my shoulder the rest of the youths in the village understand my meaning and we all head to the meeting hut to wait out the fight. We're met with the rest of our small population, including the town representatives who usually meet up with the bandits. I assume team seven took their place under a henge. We wait in silence like we do each and every year. Ten minutes later Kakashi comes to get us. That's it. It's all over.

* * *

There hasn't been an end of harvest celebration in our little town for as long as the bandits have been picking on our tiny village. So tonight, we party.

* * *

We're all pretty exhausted the next morning, ninja included.

"Uhg! Do we haaave to go back today?" Naruto whines, his head leaning on the table.

My head jerks up at that, "What? You're leaving already? Can't you stay? You haven't taught me anything!"

"Hmm. About that," Kakashi begins, "I got word back from the Hokage and-"

"Ha!" I interrupt. "I knew that wasn't actually a mid-mission report." Kakashi gives me the stink eye. "Sorry." I say.

"As I was saying," Kakashi says pointedly, "Lord Hokage said we cannot teach you."

"Oh," I murmur, disappointed. "That's okay, I didn't really expect-"

"However." Kakashi continues, "We can take you back to Konoha to be trained there. You would go to the academy and get a full education."

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I gape at him. Because seriously? Is he really inviting me to come to the village hidden in the leaves? A glance at Seika and her panicked eyes tells me that yes, he just did and right now she is thinking 'oh god, don't leave me alone with the parents!' My jaw clacks shut as I come to a decision. I bow my head. "I thank you sincerely for your offer, but I think I am needed here. However, would you be willing to take my sister instead?"

Before Kakashi has time to respond, mother puts her foot down. "Absolutely not!" She yells.

"Mother," I begin, trying to keep my voice level,

"No!" Mother says, not having any of it. "This is not your decision! Are you her mother? Are you her father? Take your place boy!"

My father puts a hand on mother's wrist, and she immediately quiets down. I send him a thankful glance, but his eyes are hard. I gulp. "Seika would be better suited for ninja training for many reasons." I begin my appeal, "She's younger and so would take to it better. She's more aggressive than I, and this is a chance for her to get the education she's always wanted. Seika isn't as suited to farm life as we are. She'd make a fine ninja, and then she can come back to us, and protect our farm from danger."

"How would you know?" Mother rants again. "You think you know my little girl better than her own mother? How would you know what's best for her? You'd throw her to the wolves, to be trained to do man's work and never get a husband? You'd deny her any chance at love?"

I see Sakura flinch at her words, and am about to retort when my father holds up his hand. "No." He says. "Seika will stay here."

I shut my mouth. Father has spoken. Not for the first time I am thankful that in my past life I had two accepting mothers. I look over to my sister, head bowed to hide her angry tears. I take her hand and squeeze. "I'm sorry." I whisper. Looking back to the ninja I say, "I don't want to presume, I mean, well." I take a deep breath. "Like I said, and I'm sure I speak for the entire village when I say how deeply thankful I am that you are willing to help us, but when it comes to actual ninja training, I don't think I am the best candidate. I was willing to learn some taijutsu and maybe have a rumor spread for me to look the part to scare off bandits, but when it comes to actual confrontation, I'm a pacifist. I'm really just a farmer at heart. Plus, I'm much too old. I'm eighteen, aren't most shinobi, well, shinobi by then?"

"Yes," Kakashi concedes, "but you were the one to initially show interest in ninja training. It only makes sense for you to be the one to receive it. No other villager has shown any interest. Even if they did, they'd either have to have parental consent, not likely considering the other villagers were too scared of us to house us in their homes, or be eighteen years or older; the legal age of adulthood for civilians."

I purse my lips for a moment, looking at my sister. She doesn't meet my gaze.

Naruto eagerly pipes up, "You'll like it in Konoha Ren! I can show you all the cool spots! Oh! And you have to try Ichiraku Ramen!"

"Please come!" Sakura says.

I look at them, brow knit, then look back at Seika.

"I could probably find someone with a rat summoning contract for you to meet." Kakashi mentions all too casually. I perk up, then instantly feel guilty and look down. "You want to protect your village don't you?" Kakashi asks.

"Yes but…" I whisper. I feel Seika squeeze my hand and I look at her. Still looking at her lap she nods minutely.

"Go." My father orders, deciding the time for me to make the decision he wants on my own is up, and now is time to make me. I nod and stand, squeezing Seika's hand one more time before leaving to pack my few belongings.

* * *

The next morning we stand outside our little home, the only one I've ever known in this life, and say our goodbyes. I bow to mother and father, and they each step forward to give me a kiss on the forehead. Then it's time to say goodbye to Seika. Unlike in my past life, when both my brother and I eventually went off to boarding schools, Seika and I have never been separated. "It'll be okay." I tell her. "I'll write you a letter every day and send enough paper and ink so you can write back. I won't be here to protect you, so you gotta stick up for yourself okay?"

"Don't I always?" She asks me, with a bit of a strained smile.

I smile back. "Of course" I tell her. I give her a hug and whisper in her ear, "I was talking about our parents though. You don't have to be perfect for them. Remember that."

She nods when I let go. "I'll try." She says. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. I love you." I tell her.

"You too."

"Bleuch!" Naruto gags. "Ugh! Can we get goooooiiiiiiing alreadyyyyyy?"

I turn and look sadly at them. I nod. I wouldn't expect ninja to understand long emotional goodbyes. With one last wave at my family, I'm off to the great unknown.

* * *

"I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth but why are you doing this?" I ask as we walk.

"Huh?" Naruto says, "Horse? Mouths?"

"Oh, that's just a saying from my pas- uh, that I made up!" I explain. "I make a lot of those."

"Hmph. Well they don't make any sense." Naruto huffs.

Kakashi clears his throat to gain my attention. "Your village offered to give us half the amount of food the bandits would have taken, plus reduced rates for future trade."

"Oh." I say. That doesn't sound like something the village would do. He might take the deal if the ninja offered it to him, but they'd never make the first move. _So they might actually be taking me in to be interrogated and tortured, never to see my sister or family again._ I think. _That's reassuring._ I still can't get that dream out of my mind, but perhaps it's good to be a little cautious, if not paranoid around ninja. I've been known to be too naïve in my past life, so I'll try not to make that same mistake again. _Then again,_ I think, _if I go missing, my father will break the deal. Probably._ Oh well. I take the advice of Ford Prefect, and 'Don't think about it.' If Arthur Dent can 'not think about' his home planet being destroyed, then I can definitely ignore the fact that I might have just gotten coerced/abducted to go with a bunch of morally ambiguous ninja. I'll be fine. Or not, but I'll do my best. As I used to say as a little girl: "My best is my best, can't do better than my best." A little long for a motto, sure, but awfully cute. Well, as cute as you find a little girl telling herself and the world that it's okay not to be perfect but not believing it in the slightest. Moving on,

"Can you show me a world map?" I ask. "I'm not even sure where we are, and I'll seem really uneducated if people ask where I'm from and I say I don't know."

Kakashi pauses, then takes out a kunai. I step back. He crouches down and starts drawing the world map. By memory. To say I'm impressed would be an understatement. I'm both excited and nervous to see a map of this world I live in. Back when I was little I had wanted to explore the world and find America, so I could meet the girl whose memories I shared. That was before I realized we very possibly might be the same person, just in different times places, and that as a poor farmer boy, I didn't have the means to buy a map, much less explore the world. There's something very empowering about maps, they show you what you're working with. I never really understood that feeling in my past, when maps were dime a dozen. But now that I'm in a completely new place, it occurs to me that if Naruto characters are real, then other stories could be real too, and Amestris could very well appear on this map, or Wizarding England, or Wonderland, or Oz, or Omashu or Narnia, or feudal japan. Kakashi finishes up his map and begins naming countries and places, not mentioning any of the places listed above, unfortunately. Then he points to a spot in a country bordering the Land of Fire and says, "We're right here, in the Land of Sound, formerly known as the Land of Rice Paddies."

Well.

Shit just got real.


	6. Bonus and Choppy Chappy

**Bonus Feature:**

I watch my brother go with a mix of emotions: sadness, concern, and jealousy, to name a few. I don't know if he can handle it, to be honest. Ren is the most compassionate person I know. He's honest to a fault and never wants to hurt anybody. How the fucking hell does he think he's going to learn to fight? He's such a fool: a damn, optimistic fool. And he's going to get to go to a hidden village and get an education! I'd be happy for him, but that's not even what he wants! All Ren wants to do is farm. He finds pleasure in the monotony of farm life, enjoys the 'cyclical passing of the seasons', saves worms after storms, and can watch silt swirl in a puddle for thirty minutes straight! He has memories of living in a huge city with everything you could ever want available in less than a day's travel, but he said he hated it! Ren has twice as much life as any of us, and yet luck decides to give him more. It just doesn't seem fair.

I sense movement behind me and turn to see cousin Jiro peeking out from behind a bush. "They're gone, you know, you can come out now."

He looks around suspiciously before slowly climbing out. "That's a relief." He says, and I follow him into the village square. "Them ninja are scary."

I laugh, "That's just 'cause you never met 'em." I tell him. "They're perfectly nice in person."

Jiro turns to me, making a scary face, "That's just what they _want_ you to think! They're sneaky bastards, they cozy all up to you so you trust 'em, then trick you!"

I cross my arms and raise a skeptical eyebrow.

"They took your brother! How are you not convinced?" Jiro asks angrily.

I furrow my brow. I open my mouth to reply, but stop when I hear townsfolk gossiping behind us.

"It's a shame about Ren, you know. –Yeah, I'll really miss the crazy guy. –We should have known _just_ our entire life's savings wouldn't be enough of a price to pay for those greedy bastards. –Wonder why they took Ren though. Surly they noticed he's not right in the head? –He's a hard worker, and the fact he believes in things that happen in his head, well, maybe they think that'll make him more malleable. –He's a nice kid, I'm sad to see him go."

Jiro hears them too and sets his face in a grim mask. "Now do you get it? Seika, I'm sorry, but, you don't actually think your brother is coming back?"

"Of course I do!" I snap.

We hear an obnoxious laugh and I whirl around to see Jiro's older brother Montaro.

"Seems you're just as gullible as Ren!" Montaro snickers. "Maybe they should've taken you too. I say good riddance! We don't need loony's in our town!"

My fists clench at my sides and my jaw tightens. I turn to Jiro pleadingly, silently begging him to put his brother in line. But he won't. He doesn't meet my eye. Oh, how I wish I could just punch Montaro and make him sorry! I wish when Ren comes back he'll punch him and every last person who ever doubted him! But I know he'd never do that. He's too nice. I grant the brothers my chilliest glare and stalk off. I wish it were me who went with the ninja. I wish I could've gone with them, to see the world; sights that people like Jiro and Montaro could only dream of, learn and become educated, get strong, become a fighter, become powerful! I could be a legend! Then they'd all be sorry. Everyone who ever made fun of me for having a weird older brother would quake in fear. They'd all be in debt to me for protecting them and making the village prosper. Maybe even Mom and Dad would be proud of me…

* * *

"O-Oh." I say lamely. The ninja all look up at my weird response. I smile weakly, what else did they expect? I'm a weird guy. "Um, w-why didn't we hire ninja from our own village then?"

They all keep looking at me. "Land of Sound doesn't have a hidden village."

"Oh." I say again. "So not yet?" I turn my statement into a question last second.

"What makes you say that?" Sasuke asks suspiciously.

"Oh, um. N-nothing." I stutter, then amend because denying it is way too suspicious, "I m-mean, uh, lots of other countries have hidden villages right?"

"Why are you talking like that?" Naruto asks. "You sound like Hinata all of a sudden."

I force a smile, "Me? I'm fine, I just got a frog in my throat."

Naruto's eyes go wide. "You what? How could you!? Let it out! Are you choking? Don't eat it! Frogs give you warts!" He shouts.

"Huh? No! Not literally!" I try to explain, but Naruto bowls me over, tackling me to the ground so he can pry open my mouth.

* * *

I avoid asking any more questions about this world we live in for the rest of the trip that day. Actually, I avoid talking at all. I don't want to learn any more upsetting things, so I don't ask. I also avoid thinking about the fact that I live in the Land of Freaking Sound. Avoidance has always been my coping method for fear. I really will make a terrible ninja. Well, best avoid thinking about that. Yup, so long as I don't ever meditate again, I can keep all these distressing thoughts tucked neatly away in the back of my mind to fester and make me go bald. Because if I don't keep it tucked away, I'll have a mental breakdown, because I'M A FUCKING FARMER DAMN IT AND I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH CRAZY NINJA SHIT AND OROCHIMARU'S FUCKED UP EXISTENCE OF MISERY AND IMMORAL EXPERIMENTS AND SHIT! So no, I'm not going to think about it. Not at all. I'm going to think about pretty flowers and whether I can still pull off a dress in a man's body. I hum listlessly off to the side of our little traveling group, keeping up, but just barely.

* * *

"What's wrong with Ren?" Sakura asks Kakashi worriedly.

"I think we broke him." Naruto says.

Sasuke snorts. "He was already broken."

Kakashi takes one look at Ren and can't help but agree with the Uchiha.

* * *

As we go on, and I'm have to jog to keep up with their speed, my mind eventually settles and I'm able to contemplate the implications of my predicament. I never thought I could make a very good ninja in either of my lives. I'm much more physically fit in this one, though my muscles are built for strength, not speed. I know a little tiny bit of kung fu, broadsword and straight sword from my old life, but I've never used it in a real fight. I know tai chi, the only martial art I'm good at, but I'm still not sure how helpful it will be concerning chakra. I wonder if a Hyuuga could help me with that? I really don't think I'll have much ability with chakra considering my late start. It'll either be control, or reserves or both which I lack. That leaves me with taijutsu and weapons. Oh, I can use a staff pretty well… but I've never used it against a person. I think that will be my biggest roadblock, being the pacifist I am. I've never really wanted to hurt anyone. Sure, I used to hit my older brother as a kid, but that was only when I thought I couldn't hurt him, when I thought he was invincible. What am I thinking? These are ninja, bandits, the same logic applies. I can't hurt them, they're invincible. So there's no reason I should feel bad about attacking them. Good. Now I've got that mental block out of the way, training should be no problem! Of course, back when I'd hit Joseph, he'd never hit back… I guess I have to work on pain tolerance. I've never even broken a bone- well, that I know of. I'm strong enough when it comes to emotional pain, but I don't think that transfers. I guess I'll never know until someone beats the crap out of me how many times I'll get back up. I just hope when I do find myself in that situation, the old anime trope of pulling through and finding strength at the thought of your lived ones does apply. And hopefully the first time I get beat up it will be a 'friendly' encounter with a training partner. Man, this world is so messed up.

* * *

After the first day's travel, Kakashi decides we're moving too slow and I'm going to have to run if we're to make it back in less than a week. As I soon find out, Kakashi's idea of 'running' is my idea of sprinting. I'm just lucky I'm healthier in this life because there's no way in hell I could ever keep up then with a breathing condition. We get up at dawn like we do at the farm, eat some rations for breakfast, sprint until noon, eat more rations for lunch, then sprint until night. We keep to roads and paths, so I don't get lost when the ninja run ahead. It's just like freshman year when I joined the ski team before I learned to ski, and the team would all zoom past while I struggled along the snow, alone in the frozen woods. Good memories. It's well past sunset when I see Sasuke waiting for me at the side of the road. "Don't slow down idiot, we're almost there." I sigh, and follow after him as he leads me off the little wagon trail into the woods. I rush through the brush in the dark, lead by Sasuke, who is wearing dark. Oh joy. I see the campfire in the distance and smile in relief. Uchiha-snot-face snorts, but I ignore him and stumble into the clearing. Tents are pitched already, the fire is made, and all I want to do is lie down, but it's only fair if I do my share of the work.

"Hey." I mumble, giving a weak wave to the others. "I'm sorry I'm late. I'm sorry I wasn't able to help out with setting up." I say sheepishly.

"That's all right Ren!" Naruto pipes up. "Sakura and I were just worried ya got lost!"

"I was not!" Sakura yells, turning pink.

I smile feebly. "Do you want me to cook dinner?" I ask. "It's a bit dark to look for seasoning, and I'm terrible at hunting, but if one of you helps me catch something, I can skin it and roast it."

"We already ate." Sasuke tells me as he walks over to one of the tents.

"Oh! G-Good night Sasuke!" Sakura calls to him but he makes no reply. There's silence in the clearing and all is still but for the trembling of my legs. Kakashi takes a ration bar out of his pouch and throws it my way without looking up from his book.

I catch it clumsily, and hastily sit down before my legs give out. "There has to be something I can do…" I say desperately to the two genin remaining. "You guys did all the work!"

"It, it really wasn't all that work Ren." Sakura says, embarrassed.

"Yeah! We set up tents all the time!" Naruto tells me. "You're the one who's the most tired. Did you see the way your legs were shaking?"

"Naruto!" Sakura hisses, giving him a good elbow.

I laugh. "Yeah, I did. I thought my knees were gonna fall off from the vibration." I look down. "I just, I don't want to be a burden to you guys."

Sakura's about to protest when Kakashi cuts in, "Then stretch."

"What?" I ask.

"Do some stretches." He says again. "If you don't then you'll be stiff tomorrow and if you get a cramp and I have to carry you then you really will be a burden."

I chuckle at his inadvertent pun and he goes on; "It takes a few days to get to the village, moving at civilian running speed, so you better be ready for more of this."

I smile softly and nod, reaching out to touch my toes.


	7. Aversion to Mirrors

"Whoa!" I stand astonished in the face of the great gates of Konoha. "Those are some big doors!" I exclaim.

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Hurry up, moron. You've already delayed us enough."

"He's never been out of his village! Cut him some slack Sasuke!" Sakura snaps, then covers her mouth with wide eyes. "I- I didn't mean it! I'm sorry Sasuke." She tries to explain her momentary lapse in reverence for her crush but he just blows her off.

"Whatever. Let's get going already."

"Hey!" Naruto yells. "Don't talk to Sakura like that bastard!"

Aaand- this is what I've been falling asleep to for the past few nights ladies and gentlemen. If I weren't already half dead on my feet exhausted from running all day, I don't think I could've done it. Then again, tuning out those around me is a skill I have perfected from living with a hyperactive older brother and various roommates in boarding school and summer camp.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and smile up at Kakashi. Well, not really up at him since we're the same height, but anyway. "I'm so excited!" I tell him. "And a little nervous too."

He smiles, or at least I think he does, and says, "You'll be fine." His smiles never really reach his eyes with me, unlike when he's looking at the others. I wonder why as we walk over to the sign in desk. I turn to look around, not paying much attention to what they're doing. Sounds like paperwork and security stuff. Boring! "Hey, what's the drinking age here in Konoha?" I ask no one in particular. The conversation tapers off and Izumo and Kotetsu take a look at me.

"Who's this?" One of them asks. I can never remember who is who.

The other one snickers, "Finally got yourself a boyfriend?"

"Izumo!" The first one, Kotetsu says. "That kid's way too young!"

"Ha!" Izumo laughs. "I always thought you'd be a cradle robber Kakashi!"

Sakura blushes. Naruto giggles. Sasuke is a stone face. I scratch my head. "Wow." I say. "Are all Konoha ninja this pervy?"

They both burst into laughter.

Kakashi sighs. "This is Ren. He's an official guest of Konoha. Now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to show him to his apartment."

They wave us off, smirking and grinning.

* * *

I walk up the stairs to my apartment and pause. The ninja stand impatiently behind me. "What's the hold up?" Sasuke asks. "We've still got mission debriefing after this."

"Well…" I fidget slightly under their gaze. "If it's not too much trouble, could you go in there first and cover any mirrors?"

Kakashi raises an eyebrow but goes in nonetheless.

"Why don't you like Mirrors, Ren?" Sakura asks.

I smile a bit at her, "It's not that I don't like mirrors, Sakura, I don't like what they show me."

Her eyes widen at this. "Really? But you're so ho-" She blushes, "I mean, you're not as handsome as Sasuke, but you're not bad looking."

"Well thanks?" I say. "But it's not that I don't like how I look, it's more that I don't care. We go about our daily lives, seeing everyone else's outsides, what they present to others. The only person we can truly see inside of is ourselves. Having never seen my reflection or an image of myself in this life, I have a much clearer view to who I am inside."

The genin stare at me blankly, and I remember their only twelve. I sigh. I really miss Seika right about now. She would understand. I really miss my brother too.

"But," Sakura protests, not fathoming my aversion to mirrors, "Don't you want to look good?"

"Yeah, aren't you curious what you look like?" Naruto asks.

"N-not really…" I mutter, looking away. "I guess I'm just scared."

"All done!" Kakashi announces, coming back through the doorway. It's good timing because I can tell the genin were about to question me further. I give Kakashi a grateful look and hurry into my new abode. "Thanks Bye!" I tell them, quickly shutting the door and leaning my back against it. I slide down, relieved. Seriously, those genin should be Gryphindors for how nosy they are. Except Sasuke. He's Slitherin. Obviously. It's not as if I don't like talking to them about my life, but Seika's really the only one I ever talk to about the not so good things that come with my condition. I don't like to complain, I don't like to be a burden and I don't like to seem weak. And I don't want to go through the pain of them not understanding. I still see my other face when I think of myself. I remember how hard it was to even see that, when I was a little kid the first time and the face I saw in the mirror was never the one I expected to see. Back then it was because I was half Chinese in a school full of white people and it was easy to forget my own race. Even though the circumstances are different, I don't want to go through that again. Each day, each time I remember more about my past life, about Rebecca, about being another person, I morph into that person. Am I Rebecca superimposed and reincarnated into the body of Ren? Am I Ren with the memories of Rebecca? If I look in the mirror, what will I see? When I gain a memory, do I lose a part of who I am now? Who am I? Knowing what I look like would only complicate things. My eyes drift closed. The past few days have been exhausting, physically and emotionally. I jolt up with a pounding at my door. "Reeeeen! Come ouuuuut! You have to come with us to meet the Hokage!" Naruto shouts through the door. I groan and get up.

Apparently our little stop at the appartment was only to drop off my stuff, few belongings as it is, so that I can walk unencumbered to the Hokage tower. Either that or they want to save me from the embarrassment of walking in front of the Hokage with my spare set of clothes tied to a stick. I considered it being for security reasons that they had me drop it off, but got rid of the idea. I'm sure people carry knives in there all the time, this isn't like my memories of a world where sharp metal objects on your person make you instantly suspect.

I look around with fascinated eyes at all the buildings we pass. Naruto and Sakura babble and point out specific venues for eating or shopping respectively. It's such a culture shock. Back home, there was no shops. Everything we had we made ourselves. All our food grew from the soil beneath our feet and was cooked by the hands of our mother. Clothes were reused until worn to rags. Nothing was our own. It's a simpler kind of living. Not necessarily harder, just different. I love it but I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally wish to have something that was only mine.

"Ren? Ren, are you listening?" Sakura asks, pulling at my sleeve.

"What? Oh, sorry." I blink a few times. "Sorry, this is all just a bit overwhelming." I tell her apologetically.

"That's okay." She says. "I was just saying you should really try out the hot springs! You'll really like it!"

"Yeah!" Naruto shouts. "We can go together!"

"I'd like that." I tell him. "I've never had a hot bath before." _Well, not in this lifetime_. "There's a lot of experiences I've missed out on, so you all better catch me up!"

Naruto's previously shocked face splits into a grin. "You bet!" He gives me the thumbs up and I can't help but ruffle his hair.

We walk into the Hokage tower, if you can call it a tower and the ninja proceed to hand in forms and do boring stuff while I zone out completely. I somehow vaguely register one of the genin taking my hand so I don't get left behind.

Security is actually pretty lax in the Hokage tower in my opinion. I guess if an intruder has gotten all the way into the village this far undetected, then we'd already be screwed. Plus, I'm sure there's a bunch of security measures like seals that I'm not even aware of. I think of all this stuff as we make our way to meet the Hokage. It occurs to me that this line of thinking could be seen as slightly suspicious, but I wipe that thought away soon enough. I was always paranoid in my past life about thinking the wrong thing and having my thoughts overheard, until I realized that life's just too short to be spent worrying and filtering not only what comes out of your mouth but also what stays in your mind. Besides, trying not to think about stuff only makes it worse. Like have you ever read a romance story that didn't involve some sort of denial that only caused the person in love to get all flustered?

"Ahem." Time to zone back in again.

I draw my eyes away from the bookshelves lining the walls of the Hokage's office and toward the man himself. I bow stiffly, not sure how to act in front of him.

"Ah, S-sorry." I stammer. "I'm a bit distracted. This is all a lot to take in."

Someone squeezes my hand and I look to see it's Naruto.

The old man smiles kindly. "I understand. Now Ren-

"Isn't that bad for you?" I blurt out, looking at his pipe. He raises an eyebrow for me to continue. "I m-mean, uh, my moms told me smoking is unhealthy."

To my surprise the old man lets out a low chuckle. "Not if it's marihuana." He says. "Now, Ren…"

He says more, but I'm too shocked to comprehend anything he says after HE FRICKEN JUST STATED HE RUNS A HIDDEN NINJA VILLAGE WHILE HIGH OUT OF HIS MIND! I mean come on, I get that it's a stressful job, but you'd think a guy like him would want to be clear headed while possibly sending his soldiers out to die. Then again, maybe that's the point. Tsunade is often seen to drink on the job so maybe substance abuse is common for Hokage. You think that's why this world's so fucked up? Or are they not sober because the world's fucked up? Like what's the cause and what's the effect?

"Ren"

"Ren?"

"Ren!"

For the third time that day I'm shaken out of my thoughts. "Huh?" I blink a few times then sigh, and rub my forehead. "I'm really sorry. What were you saying? I'm really overwhelmed right now. There's, there's just so many buildings! And people!" I explain desperately. Remembering what a city is like and being in one are two very different things.

Hiruzen Sarutobi nods. "Of course, how inconsiderate of me. I was perhaps too eager to meet you Ren. Why don't you come back here for our little chat tomorrow at the same time? I'll have someone escort you so you don't get lost."

I nod gratefully.

"Oh! Oh!" Naruto hops up and down with his hand raised. "We'll do it old man! We can escort Ren, right Kakashi?"

Said ninja sighs heavily and does not answer.

"Very well." Sarutobi says. "I'll have Team Seven be your official escorts."

* * *

The next day team seven comes to pick me up at my place to bring me to the Hokage. It's a beautiful day and I give them a sunny smile to match the weather. "Good morning!" I chirp. I get an assortment of greetings back, ranging from a parroted "good morning" from Sakura, a "Hi Ren!" from Naruto and a grunt from Sasuke. Kakashi says nothing. As we're out and about, I let my eyes wander all over the village in awe. It's obvious I'm a tourist. "It's bigger than I thought." I admit. "Could you guys give me a map or something? I'm really bad with directions." They all stare at me like I'd said something stupid. "What?" I ask.

"A map?" Naruto asks, as if the thought never occurred to him.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, a map. Don't you have any here?"

Sasuke looks at me, incredulous. "You do realize this is a _hidden_ village, right?"

"A wha-? Oh right!" I laugh and smack my head. "Whoops, forgot. I guess that would be like writing down the passwords to get into gryphindor, tangible information is so much easier to steal. Silly me. Silly Neville, honestly, but I don't blame him. He didn't know any better even though there was a murderer on the loose, but he ended up not being one so I guess it all turned out okay in the end."

Kakashi takes his turn to speak, "Considering your lack of direction skills, it would probably be best if you only go out with an escort."

I laugh at that, "Thanks for the concern," I say, "But I'm used to being lost. Mentally and physically."

The meeting with the Hokage honestly doesn't go as I thought. He doesn't confront me about knowing stuff I shouldn't, or asking weird questions or anything. He just tells me the logistics of my stay here and gives me some money! Tells me to get myself some new clothes and toiletries with it and that I'll be getting an allowance for food each week. He's being so nice! Doesn't he have someone else to tell me this? Oh well, maybe all that weed really got to his head.


	8. Money, Money, Money

I walk out of the Hokage building to find team seven waiting for me.

"How'd it go?" Kakashi asks with a disinterested tone, not even looking up from his book.

"Good." I tell him. "He gave me money!"

"Oh! How much?" Naruto asks excitedly.

I tilt my head. "You know, I forgot to ask." I take the envelope out of my pocket. "Let's check!"

The genin crowd around me curiously as I stick my thumb underneath the flap. I rip through the glue. I pull out a wad of sparkling cash. My jaw drops.

"Oh. My. GOD!" I say in shock. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Thirty thousand ryo? Are you serious? That's nearly half our village's life savings before we spent it all on you!" I start jumping up and down to emphasize my point. "Kakashi! Count it for me! Is this really happening?" I hold the money out to him. He reaches out to take it but I snatch it back wild-eyed. "No! Never mind, don't touch my money!" I clutch the bundle of bills to my chest while looking around with suspicious eyes.

"Maa, Ren…" Kakashi starts awkwardly, scratching the back of his head,

"That's not a lot of money." Sasuke finishes bluntly.

I cross my arms angrily. "Ya, well- To me it is!"

"Thirty thousand ryo?" Sakura says thoughtfully. "That would be about… enough for a week's worth of food, three meals a day and two to three nice outfits." Her face picks up in utter glee, "I know! How 'bout we go shopping to get you new clothes while we show you around the village?"

Naruto makes a face and Kakashi and Sasuke pale a little. I look down at what I'm wearing; straw flip-flops, rough brown drawstring pants with patches on the knees and bottom, and a mud stained hand-me-down sleeveless shirt that ties around the waist. I have an exact copy of this attire back at the apartment except stained and ripped in different places.

"I don't see what's wrong with the clothes I have now." I tell them. Sakura looks scandalized. I guess buying a pair of underwear couldn't hurt but…

"Besides," I say, "If I continue to skip lunch, eat cheap and stick with the clothes I've got, I'll still have a fair amount left over that I can send back to my family." I was hoping to buy myself a copy if Icha Icha, but that might be a bit of a luxury. Maybe they'll have it in the library?

Kakashi breaks me out of my thoughts saying, "While it's honorable to want to help your family Ren, the Hokage gave this money to you to use and cover your cost of living in the village, it would be rude of you not to put it to that purpose."

"Oh. I didn't think of that." I admit. I still plan on being thrifty though.

"Your family won't even be able to use the money until trade is set up, so you might as well use it here where you can." Sakura points out.

I scratch my chin… "I guess so…" I sigh. The concept of money is so weird. I never really understood it. I mean, money makes everything more complicated! "I just feel weird spending so much money on myself!" I tell them, flailing my arms.

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Then spend it on someone else."

My eyes brighten at that. "Sasuke! You're a genius! How sweet of you to suggest I buy gifts for my family! You're a real family man! So considerate of others! The Santa Claus of shinobi!~" I'm moved to tears by my own flowery declaration. (They're tears of laughter, be they don't have to know that. Sasuke is already sending off murderous vibes as it is.)

Kakashi clears his throat. "Like I said. It's not that much money. Barely enough to cover essentials here." He points out.

Oh yeah, I forgot about how the cost of living in a city is different from a town. "Well then!" I say with a determined look, "I must spend this money wisely!"

* * *

The rest of the day is spent wandering all about the village with team seven. While I initially decided on window-shopping only, I do end up buying a few necessary items; toiletries and stationary included. I forgot to write a letter to Seika yesterday, overwhelmed as I was, so the paper and pens are a must.

There are so many THINGS here! I must hold myself back from spending all the money I have. It doesn't help that I've never handled money before in this world, and so am unfamiliar with value of the ryo. My only reference to spending money comes from memories of the American Dollar.

I make a list of items of interest, where they're found, and how much they cost so that I can effectively budget myself. I'm having a lot of fun, Sakura is too, it seems, while the boys are bored out of their minds. When the sun is high in the sky, we stop for lunch at Ichiraku Ramen. I offer to pay for their meals in gratitude for all that they've done for me. Sakura protests, saying that I shouldn't spend my limited money on them, that they were only doing their duty fulfilling their mission. The boys watch on, willing to forgo manners if it means a free meal. Well, that's not entirely true. Naruto agrees with Sakura at first, but backs down when he realizes that neither Kakashi nor Sasuke are paying unless hell freezes over, and he certainly doesn't want to either. Sakura is persistent, but if there's one thing my Chinese Mother taught me, it's how to fight for the check. Unfortunately, she never taught me what is respectful when the chef himself offers to pay for the meal. I'm honestly flabbergasted when Teuchi declares, "It's on the house!" at the end of Sakura's and my squabble. I'm grateful nonetheless.

We continue on our day for a whirlwind tour of the village, a trip to the bathhouse included. I admit, it's a bit… odd, getting naked with people I previously thought of as anime characters. More so now that I… now that I'm a dude. It's so weird how no one takes sexuality into account when segregating the sexes. I honestly think it would be safer for me to bathe on the girl's side with Sakura. I can go either way, and personality is what really attracts me to a person, but I do have a preference toward male bodies. I…try…not to ogle Kakashi…too much.

At the end of the day they walk me back to my flat and I bid them good night. I smile happily as I pull out some of my newly bought paper and pencils. Time to write a letter to Seika.

* * *

 _Dearest adorable baby sister Seika,_

 _I arrived safely in Konoha yesterday afternoon. So much has happened since then, I don't really know what to tell you. I met the Hokage today and found out he's a total pot head! No wonder the village is such a mess right? He's really, really nice though! I think you'd like him. He's lending me an apartment with free rent, and he gave me money to buy food and clothes._

 _This place is really, really big, bigger than I had been expecting. Luckily it's an enclosed circle so I can't get too lost. Knowing you, you'd say I can get lost anywhere, which I guess is true. I haven't had any more dreams about Reba writing terrible things in this story, but that could be because I've been so darn exhausted. We had to run like 14 hours a day for days to get here! My legs will look like chicken drumsticks by the time I get back._

 _I'm missing you already Seika. Speaking of which, I learned something disturbing on the way here. Apparently the country our farm is in is called the land of sound and according to the story, that's not a good thing. If you get any news about our country getting a hidden village, tell me! Also, if a sound ninja approaches you, don't trust them._

 _Anyway, I love you, love you lots and lots and tell me all about what I've missed when you write back. You can read this aloud to Mother and Father if they ask, but use your common sense on what to leave out. It's times like these I'm really glad Mother and Father are illiterate, and that they let us learn from the village scribe before he died. As I said, I miss you a lot and I wish you could be here with me. Send my love and regards to the rest of the village._

 _Your loyal big brother Ren_

* * *

I fold up my work along with a pencil and extra paper for Seika to write back with and put it in an envelope. I head out to look for the post.

It only now occurs to me that throughout the entire day of exploring the village with Team Seven, not once did I spot a mailbox. Weird. Maybe those are too easy to tamper with. Yeah, ninja don't seem like the kinds of people to leave their mail unguarded in a box on the street. They probably have a post office run by shinobi. I look around. Now where would said post office be? I rub my chin thoughtfully. Well, no harm in asking directions. "Excuse me, Shinobi sir." I say, waving down a roof hopping ninja like I would a taxi. He swings back around and lands in front of me, eyebrow raised. "What's up, kid?"

"Sorry to bother you," I say "but do you know where I can find a post office?"

He stares at me for a second, before asking, "A what?"

"A post office." I repeat. "You know, for sending and receiving letters?"

The ninja gives me a disbelieving stare. "What, are you too lazy to stick it under their door like a normal person?"

I blink. "Uh, no, I wanted to send a letter to someone outside the village."

This time he full out gawps at me. "Are you nuts?!"

I take a tentative step back, slightly cowering under the shinobi's intense gaze. "Uh, yes?" I answer meekly.

He deflates and the terrifying aura surrounding us disappears. The ninja sighs heavily. "Look kid, I'm a shinobi. I don't have time to entertain some crazy like you. Now go on back to the mental ward. You know your way back?"

I nod mutely, still not fully recovered from his unexpected angry outburst.

"Fucking retard." I hear him mutter under his breath before jumping away. I stand stock still in the middle of the street, eyes wide. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly and rub my hands over my bare arms. I don't know what just happened, but there's no way in hell it's going to stop me from sending my letter to Seika. I made a promise and I'll be damned if I let some asshole stop me from keeping it.

Since asking for directions obviously didn't work, the next thing I try is wandering around. That's how I find my way to the hawk tower. "Aha!" I say to myself. "Why didn't I think of that in the fist place? Of course ninja use hawks to send messages." I wonder if they work a bit like owls in Harry Potter. Anyway, one way to find out. I walk up to the door and pull. It doesn't move. Maybe it's a push door? Nope. Huh. I walk around the tower scratching my head. I reach out to try a different door when suddenly I'm surrounded by four shinobi. I jump in fright. "Ack!" I take a deep breath. "Oh my god, don't _do_ that!" I hold a hand to my chest. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Why are you here?" One of them asks, ignoring my previous statements.

I frown. "I want to send a letter to my sister. We're from a little farming village in Sound, and I just want to know how she's doing. I don't get what's the big deal."

The first one looks at her teammates, nods, and says, "Come with us."

* * *

(Notes on money: 1 ryo = about 10 cents. Average meal is 12$ or less. That's about 250$ a week on food and let's add another 50$ for initial necessities like clothes and toiletries. That's 300 dollars initially wich converts to 30,000 ryo. C rank missions can cost between 30,000 and 100,000 ryo depending on risk. Considering this mission held a guarantee of confrontation, I'll put it on the higher range, maybe 70-80,000 ryo that the farm paid the ninja.)

The information on the value of the ryo I got from a wordpress website called theredcourage. Just google ryo to dollar and it will be the first to come up.


	9. I Can't Sleep So I'm Writing This

Chapter Nine:

It isn't until we step into the light of one of the streetlamps that I see the white animal masks. ANBU. I'm petrified, so naturally, I cover it up with humor. "Golly, is it Halloween already?" I ask in a shaking voice. Well, I tried. They ignore me, in favor of speaking to each other in rapid sign language. I wait for them to finish.

"You are a civilian." The first one, the leader I assume, states rather than asks. I nod jerkily. "And you are new here, correct?"

"Y-ye" I gulp and nod again.

"Since that is the case, we'll let you off with a warning." The leader says, crossing their arms for emphasis. "Doors are locked for a reason. Civilians aren't allowed correspondence out side of the village."

"WHAT? THAT'S BULLSHIT!" I blurt out before I have a chance to think.

…

There's a beat of silence where I get the distinct impression that the ANBU leader is raising at least an eyebrow at me, despite the fact that the mask covers the entire face. I look to see the others' reactions, only to belatedly notice that they'd gone back to wherever hidy-hole they'd been in before.

"I don't make the rules, kid." The ANBU said in a bored tone. "Now go back home. It's getting late." They turn their back to me in obvious dismissal.

"Oh Hell No!" I yell as they disappears into the night. "I'M NOT GOING HOME UNTIL I FIND A WAY TO SEND A LETTER TO SEIKA BECAUSE I MADE A PROMISE AND THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA-

A hand slaps over my mouth and one of the ANBU appears in front of me. "Worse than the demon brat." I hear him mutter before releasing me.

"Who?" I ask, because I'm really annoyed right now and want to call him out on saying something like that. Seriously, he's ANBU. Not only was what he said demeaning to Naruto and me, but it was also about sensitive village secrets.

"Nothing." He answers. Well, better than nothing, lol. Ugh, I must be really tired to make such stupid jokes. Though I honestly didn't think he would answer. Guess he had to so it would sound less suspicious?

Sigh. I wish I was home right now. I'm so done with ninja shit. "Look buddy," I say, "I'm sending this letter whether you like it or not, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

And that's how I end up in jail after two days in the hidden leaf village.


	10. First Day of School

Kakashi sighs when he sees me early the next morning in my jail cell. "I know you're new Ren, but try to use some common sense. You don't attack the men in masks. They're ANBU and they're very powerful ninja."

I yawn, getting up from the jail cot, and roll my eyes. "Okay, first of all, I didn't attack them, I politely informed them that I wasn't going to do as they asked. Second, those masks are creepy! Third, why the hell can't I send a letter to my sister?"

Kakashi shakes his head. "Come on. We'll let the Hokage explain it to you."

Not for the first time I wonder why the Hokage doesn't have anything better to do.

* * *

"What you must understand Ren, is that a ninja village has many secrets and many enemies that would use such information against it." Sarutobi explains, hands steepled on his desk.

I furrow my brow, "So you think I'm a spy? I'm just a farmer. I've never even seen a ninja before we hired a team of them. Whom would I be spying for?"

He sighs, "We don't think you're a spy but you can still do harm. A civilian wouldn't know what information could provide leverage to our enemies and so could unwittingly leak something disastrous."

I scratch my chin in thought. "What if I ask Seika to burn the letters after she reads them?"

The Hokage thinks on this, considering. "That is a possibility, though how would we know your sister is trustworthy for the task?"

I shrug. "You'll just have to trust me on it."

"Perhaps you could hand your letters off to us, and we could put a seal on them to self destruct after a certain time period of being opened."

I blink, because, wow. Talk about overkill. "Uh, sure." I say. "Whatever helps you sleep at night. But how about you put the seal on the paper first, like, before I write it, so you don't accidentally read what I wrote."

There's a pause.

Then,

"Very well."

* * *

Looking at the clock, I realize I'm late to my first day of school due to this little escapade. Luckily it's right down stairs, but still I hate being late! Blame it on inheriting a little bit of first mom's neurosis. I'm rather jittery as Kakashi lazily walks down the stairs, book in hand. Can't he hurry up? I follow at his heels until he reaches the exit.

"Wait! Where are you going?" I ask.

He looks up. "Home?"

"But I need to go to the Academy!" I tell him, voice taking on a distinctive whiny tone when I'm anxious.

Kakashi looks very unimpressed, and I wince. "You're in the Academy."

My shoulders slump lightly and I look away. "I know, but I don't know what class I'm in."

"1b" He says.

"I don't know where that is!" I tell him.

"Then check the signs-"

I cut him off. "Can't you walk me there? Pleeeeeeeease?" I look at him with big watery eyes.

He sighs. "Fine."

"Thankyoooooou!" I say meaningfully.

Kakashi ignores me and walks painfully slowly off in another direction. I shuffle my feet awkwardly and look around. The painted hallways of a school building make me feel small. "Can I hold your hand?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"NO." He says firmly, jerking his hand away from my grabbing ones. I feel distinctly like a scolded dog.

"Why not?" I ask.

"You're eighteen years old, Ren. Stop acting like a little kid on his first day at the academy."

"But this is my first day at the academy!" I point out.

"Well look at that, we're here." Kakashi says in a tired tone. "Go ahead."

I stand in front of the door, terrified. Kakashi shoves the door open and pushes me in, leaving without so much as a goodbye. I promptly fall on my face from his action to the sound of gasps and snickers. I jump to my feet, positive my face is burning red. "I'm so sorry I'm late, it's all Kakashi's fault!" I yell, bowing multipule times.

"Uhh…" Staring back at me is the shocked face of Iruka. "Well then! You must be our new student! Class, this is Ren and he'll be joining us for a few weeks. Please be nice to him, understand?"

With a mixed chorus of "Yes Sensei," and "Yes Iruka Sensei," I turn to see a lecture style classroom full of four to seven year olds. I smile brightly.

"Hi, I'm Ren! Please take care of me!" I say then attempt to squeeze myself into a tiny chair.

* * *

 **A/N:**

Okay, so a couple of things. I've decided not to bother trying to keep the chapters all the same length. I'm just going with the flow with this story anyway. I don't have an ironed out plot to go by. I have ideas, but nothing concrete. I realize it's kinda a slow burn and some of you are already predicting some things that are going to happen. Just realize that I started this out just for fun and I never expected it to get this popular. Finally, a couple of you were wondering how the 'no civilian correspondence between villages' thing would work for trade and stuff. My thinking was that since practically everything in konoha has to do with ninja, economy probably has to do with it as well. Even the leader is a ninja. So probably, trading people, uh merchants? would have to have some sort of ninja connection or maybe there'd be some representation on the council or whatever. Anyway, any sort of inter village business ventures are likely to have to get approved by some higher up and since the government is run by ninja, then it would be a ninja. I guess that sounds a little dictator-ish, but it sounds realistic to me. I didn't really put a lot of thought into it since I started this story for the theoretical musings rather than the world building or the plot.


	11. Behind the Scenes

Somewhere in one of T&I, a couple Jonin sat in the break room sipping tea. "Got anything on the new guy?" One of them asks.

"Nope." Another sighs. "I had to follow him around to see if he did anything suspicious, but all he did was go on and on about how great the academy's toilet paper was."

"Seriously?" The first one asks. "It's just toilet paper."

"Yeah, but this guy's a country hic from a tiny farm so poor they don't even have electricity." A third Jonin comments. "Probably's only ever used leaves."

"And apparently," The second one adds, "In his past life they only ever used cheap toilet paper."

"What the hell." The first one says. "Tell me you at least got anything from reading his letters?" She asks the third Jonin.

He sighs and rubs his temples. "Not a thing since the mention of Sound. He just went on and on saying, ' _Oh Seika, I had a bad dream that I accidentally looked in a mirror and was really ugly! No one here will understand what it's like to picture yourself as a girl but actually be a boy!'_ " The third one paraphrases mockingly. "I mean, what is this kid!? Is he for real?"

"That's our job to find out." The first one points out.

The second one crosses his arms. "I say he's a lunatic. Have you seen the guy? He's worse than Gai!"

"Are we really training this insane civilian just because Hatake had a hunch he knows something?" The third one asks.

The first one rolls her eyes. "Of course not. We stuck him with the academy first years. All he's taking are history lessons. There's no way we'd actually give him practical's."

"I still don't see why we're bothering." The third one complains.

The first one rolls her eyes. "Stop being lazy. He may act nuts, but he definitely knows more than he should. He knew about specific Jutsu such as the shadow clone and the transformation even though he and his family claim to have never come into contact with ninja before. Not only that, he picked up on Hatake's team's personalities like he had known them before. He said Hatake, the demon kid and the last Uchiha had tragic lives, and he never even met them before. And he said he knew their past, present and future." The other Jonin still look unconvinced, so as the icing on the cake, the first one adds, "He knew about the nine tailed fox."

"He what!?" The second one asks.

The third one grimaces, "So what? Everyone knows about the fox. He probably saw it on the horizon when it attacked."

The first one shakes her head grimly. "He knows about Naruto and the fox…"


	12. Suspiciously Cute

"Arg! Doesn't anyone here have normal pets that aren't meant to be thrown into battle like frickin pokemon?" I shout, pulling at my hair after the fourth 'pet store' I was directed to, tried to sell me a ninken. I sigh dejectedly. It's not that I'm against talking animals; in fact, I've always wanted a little talking animal friend. Thing is, I don't want one that's got ninja training, or rather, I want it to be my animal _friend_ , my companion, not animal comrade. I don't want to be another being's master; that just feels like some house elf shit, or slavery. I never did understand pokemon. I don't know. Power dynamics are weird. It's easier when your pets aren't sentient.

It's been a while since team seven left on another mission, and I was left alone in the village. It's rather lonely living by one's self in a strange village full of dangerous strangers, hence my little search for an animal companion. I figure it might finally end the non-stop tune of 'No soy de aqui' stuck in my head if I had a furry friend to talk to. Unfortunately for my poor bored mind and the misfortunate neighbors, it seemed I'd be singing one of my high school's chorus songs indefinitely. And speaking of school, have I mentioned how BORING the academy is?! Iruka, bless his heart, is not a progressive teacher. I mean, come on! There's _got_ to be a better way to teach history than lectures. And since I was put in the youngest class, lessons only go for half the day. I'm beginning to think I've been duped. Not only that, but Kakashi still has yet to introduce me to a rat summon. Something about most rat colonies living in the desert. Well I call bullshit! If he knew that, then why'd he use that as incentive to get me to come to the village?

I'm pulled from my angry thoughts by a warm, wet… _thing_ brushing against my hand at my side. I jolt in alarm. "What the?" I yelp, only to come across a very adorable, tan, fluffy, innocent dog. I'm immediately suspicious. "Whaddya want mutt?" I ask it, irritated. The dog tilts its head, tongue hanging out of its smiling mouth with sparkles framing its furry face. I roll my eyes. "I'm not falling for the 'cute' act buddy." I tell it. The dog whines pitifully and I look away. "Nuh-uh. None of your guilt-tripping is gonna work on me, bud. If I've learned anything from spending a whole afternoon in the hot sun pet shop hunting, it's that there are no normal dogs in Konoha. So use your words like a big boy- or girl- or non binary conforming individual, and then get lost!" The dog squints its eyes at me and growls. I cross my arms and growl back. We stand in the middle of the street having a stare-off. I groan in frustration. "Ugh! Just tell me what you want!" The dog barks. I blink as something occurs to me. "Oh", I say. "You're not one of those Inuzuka dogs, are you? You guys can only communicate with clan members, right?" I'm pretty sure the dog is glaring at me right now. "Look," I tell it. "If you're lost, why didn't you ask someone else for directions? I've been told that I'm pretty obviously civilian. Heck, why didn't you sniff out one of your clansmen to ask? Come to think of it, how can a ninken get lost at all? And why am I talking to a dog that we've established can't talk back?" I sigh and wipe the perspiration from my brow. It seems getting back to my somewhat cooler apartment will have to wait. "Come with me." I tell the dog, and it immediately perks up, following my lead.

I retrace my steps to the last pet stop I'd come to. It was a veterinary clinic, in my last ditch hopes to find out if any of the vets treated normal animals, and if so, where I could get one. The bell dings softly as I enter. Hana Inuzuka looks up from her work at the sound. "Oh, Ren. Back so soon?"

"How could I stay away from a lovely lady like you?" I ask with what I hope is a cheeky grin.

She stares back with a deadpan expression. "You hang around Kakashi much?"

My shoulders droop. "Yeah, but I don't have anyone else to hang out with. I go to school with five year olds for goodness sake."

"Right." Hana says blandly, going back to her papers. "Is there something you came back here for?"

"Oh! Yeah, I think I found an Inuzuka dog on my way home."

She looks up, and I show her my canine stalker. "Hmm. No, that's not one of ours. What made you think she's an Inuzuka?"

I shrug. "It wouldn't talk to me."

Her brows furrow and she comes over to us. "Let me take a look at her. Maybe there's something wrong with her voicebox." Her hands begin to glow green. "You can leave her in our care if-" She's cut off by a soft growl from the dog in my arms. I watch as she tilts her head at the noise, rather resembling a dog herself. The dog yips, and her eyes dart to me briefly, before returning to the dog with a grunt. It whines slightly and she nods. _Are they talking about me?_ "Actually," Hana says, "I think it would be best if you were to keep this dog."

My brows rise. "What? Why? What did it say to you?"

She shrugs. "She's taken a liking to you."

"Really?" I ask. _It sure doesn't seem like she likes me_.

Hana nods. "Congratulations on your new dog."

"But- but- but I don't want a dog!" I protest. "I don't want a ninken and I certainly don't want _that_ dog."

"Why not?" Hana asks, tilting her head again.

"It's too cute." I say with a huff. "It makes me uncomfortable."

She shakes her head. "You are one strange civilian."

After much convincing, I finally manage to leave the place sans clingy puppy and back to my home. I don't know why that dog was so determined to follow me, but I'm glad I finally got it to stop. Like I said at the clinic, I'm not a fan of overly cute things. We~ll it's not that per-se. It's more like I just don't find the stereotypically cute things to be, well, cute. There's just something innately _gross_ about things that are adorable and nothing else. It's similar to the feeling of the uncanny valley to me. I prefer things to have subtleties, dark undertones, mixed flavors; it adds depth. I guess I also naturally mistrust things that have the appearance of purity. There is always something tainting, and I prefer that something to be obvious. Nothing is perfect, so it scares me when something has the appearance of perfection. I know the imperfection is there somewhere beneath the surface, and the unknown is a very primal fear… Then again, I could just be over analyzing my dislike of things falling under the common standard of cute.

* * *

Elsewhere...

"Leiko, report."

I watch as a fairly small, (not much larger than me) fluffy dog steps forward haughtily. "The target was completely oblivious to my presence until I licked his hand. I turned on all my adorable charms, but he was… unaffected."

I snort at how put out the Pomeranian sounds at this statement. She turns to me with a growl, but the employer cuts her off. "Leiko, go on with the report."

She turns back to the jonin with a flick of her tail. "Hmph. Target seemed in a bad mood, and asked what I wanted. As the parameters of the mission included refraining from using human speak in front of the target, I merely pretended not to understand, and doubled the cuteness, adding a sparkle genjutsu to top it off but it didn't work! He called it all an act and was very rude about it all. He kept on questioning me, until he came to the false conclusion that I was an Inuzuka dog because I wouldn't respond in human speak."

"Oh?" The leaf jonin asked. "But you talked to him in dog speak?"

Leiko's ears turned down in shame. "Well, yes, but-"

"I believe your orders were to not talk to the target at all, lest he figure out you were any kind of summon." The leaf jonin admonished.

"Yes, but he was so-!" She paused to growl in frustration, "So irritating! And annoying! And it wouldn't have mattered anyway. He said he'd been pet-shop hunting and had found out that there are no 'normal' dogs in konoha."

"And by that I assume he meant non-summons?" Our commander asked for clarification.

"Yes, I assume so."

He nods, "Interesting. Go on."

"Well anyway, after he assumed I was an Inuzuka dog, he brought me to the veterinary clinic run by Hana Inuzuka, where he made a very poor attempt at flirting, showed remorse at having no friends, and asked her to identify me. She recognized that I was not one of their pack, and offered to take me in and check for health issues that could explain my lack of human speak. I then quickly explained to her in dog speak that I had a mission that required I stay by his side without speaking to him. Hana Inuzuka attempted to convince the target to keep me with him, but he refused, claiming I was 'too cute' and it made him uncomfortable."

At the dog's explanation, I couldn't help but burst into laughter. "T-too cute? And ya was try'n t'act all adorbsable and it b-backfired! Thas jus' too much!" I grind my teeth in pleasure as I laugh. "I'm gonna like this kid!" I tell 'em.

Leiko rises her hackles at me, growlding, "Why you filthy-!"

"Leiko!" the leaf jonin interrupts, just as my eyes narrow at what she was about to say. "Sorei is about to be sent on the mission that _you failed._ It would be wise to at least act respectful to him."

It does not pass my notice that he said 'act' respectful 'to' him, rather than 'be' respectful 'of' him. Of course I let it go, far too used to such micro-aggressions directed at my species. I notice with slight satisfaction, the horrified expression on Leiko's canine features.

"What!" She exclaims. "You're giving the mission to him?! T-to one of _them_?"

"If I may?" I ask, continuing at the leaf jonin's nod, "It's _us_ the target has an interest in, not you dogs, ya got me? 'Course, that's jus if ya believe in Hatake's report. My apologies if ya don't think the great copy nin is capable o remem'brin a few words. Not only that, but ye saw how far _you_ got. Looks can only take ya so far. Or didja never learn that?"

"That's enough." The leaf jonin cuts in. "Leiko, you're dismissed. Sorei, let's discuss your goals for this mission."

I wave a taunting paw at the fuming Pomeranian and turn back to the leaf jonin. "Alright," He says. "You've got the reports on the target's personality from Hatake, a couple of his tails, and now Leiko. You think you have a good enough sense of his character?"

I nod.

"Good. Get information out of him without making him suspicious of the village. Dismissed."

I get into his apartment with the ease that only my kind can accomplish, and set myself to work. I promptly scamper up to his sleeping form and take a good couple sniffs, adding his scent to memory. My ears pick up the high-pitched buzz of yang chakra; high above the human range of hearing. It's soft, definitely civilian. Though the thrum of yin chakra is much below the spectrum of sound I can hear, I'm sure it's just as quiet as his yang. I look through his few meager belongings as well, hoping to find a diary of some sort. Looks like the pinkie only has two pairs of clothing, both old and smelling of many people. Hand-me-downs then. He's got a packet of boxers, most of them still in the wrapping, just two pair taken out. I can assume he only needs two since he probably does laundry every day and swaps out. There's some academy-level notes stuffed in an old bag, but they're not coded messages as far as I can tell. I read over the draft of a letter left by his head, but it's clean as well. Next to it is a letter from his sister. It smells a bit weird and I take a closer sniff. Two different kinds of ink. Interesting. My whiskers pick up trace amounts of chakra as well. So they've been altering his sister's letters have they? Clever. No doubt adding innocent little questions here and there to prompt him to spill more information. They're probably changing his letters too, though I don't have any samples of those to check.

My search of his room complete and the sun about to rise, I jump up to the top of the fridge and knock over his box of cereal. Time to get this meeting over with.


	13. High Barbary

"YEEARGH!" I stretch my arms above my head with a tremendous yawn. Wiping the sleepy tears out of my eyes, I make my way to the kitchen sink to brush my teeth. Something crunches underfoot. Huh? I pick up my toes to see a crushed piece of cereal. In front of it is more spilled cereal. Weird. The wind must have blown it down or something. Lifting my eyes further, I see the actual source of the mess. Sitting atop the refrigerator, munching along on a breakfast bunch is a black and tan hooded rat, about the size of a small possum. "Aaaawwwwwwe!" I squeal. I can't help it! Rats are _so_ cute. "Hey buddy…" I murmur in a soft voice. "How ya doin?" I look around for something to pick it up with, not being sure if he's friendly or not. I learned my lesson when I tried to pick up a wild rat dying from poison out of the street so she wouldn't get run over and she tried to bite. Poor thing was probably scared. Luckily she was too weak to puncture skin and I didn't have to get a rabies shot, but I don't approach strange rats with my bare hands anymore. "Hold on right here!" I tell my furry visitor, not seeing anything soft to approach him with. I run back to my room and grab my blanket. Coming back around, I gently remove him from the refrigerator and into my blanket covered arms. From his reaction to my movements, I can tell that he's used to said actions and isn't likely to bite. I smile happily and begin to pet his soft fur. "Awe, you like that don't you?" I ask him as I see him brux, or grind his teeth in pleasure. I look around at the mess he made. "Well, I'm going to have to clean this up. Can you sit on my shoulder when I do that Kaze?" I guide him up to sit on my shoulder and nod to myself. "Yeah, that's a good name. I'll call you Kaze because I thought it was the wind that pushed over the cereal box." I hum to myself to the tune of 'high barbary'.

~ _Blow high, blow low, and so sailed we!~_

It's not until I make my way out of the apartment that something occurs to me. "Hey Kaze," I ask him, "You're not someone's pet are you?" I get no response obviously, but the thought worries me. "Huh. However much I'd like to keep you, I wouldn't want to worry whoever's probably out there looking for you. Well don't worry Kaze, I'll find your owner in no time!"

* * *

"Eew!"

"That's so yucky!"

"Hey old man, why do you have a _rat_ on your shoulder?"

"Yeah, dummy. Don't you ever take baths so you don't catch vermin?"

My eye twitches in irritation at my classmates' tactless comments. Yes, they're only five-ish. I get it. But still. I take a deep breath. "This, is Kaze. Yes, he's a rat. No, he's not dirty. No, he's not vermin. Yes, I bathe regularly. No, I'm not an old man, I'm just eighteen. Now, I'll ask again. Do any of you know someone who may have lost their pet rat?"

I'm met with blank stares.

"Ugh! Who would even have a pet _rat_?"

I sigh.

* * *

"HEY REN!"

Walking down the street with my newest companion, I look up from my ponderings to see an orange ball of joy running towards me, followed up by blue ball of gloom, a pink ball of fangirl and a grey ball of meh.

"Tch, idiot." Sasuke mutters,

"Hey wait up!" Sakura calls out, and Kakashi has his nose stuck in his book.

"Hey Naruto! Back from your mission?" I ask with a fond smile.

"Yup!" Naurto shouts with a grin. "Hey Ren, watcha got in your arms?"

"Oh, Kaze?" I ask, holding said rodent up higher, "He's a rat I found in my apartment."

"Eh? A rat?" Naruto asks, stumbling back a bit in shock. "Hmmmm…" He scrunches up his face in typical Naruto detective mode, squinting eyes, crossed arms and all, and puts his face right up to Kaze.

"Naruto? What are you looking at?" Sakura asks when the rest of the team make it up to us.

"Ren's got a rat!" He answers proudly, as if he only just figured it out himself.

I giggle at his antics and flip Kaze on his back so I can tickle his tummy. "Yes I do!~ Yes I do!~" I say in a baby voice. "Who's got the cutest little ratty there is in town? I do!"

"Uhh…" Sakura's mouth hangs open.

Sasuke's eyes narrow. "Where did you find that?"

"In my apartment eating cereal." I tell them.

Sakura's eyes widen. "Ren, what are you doing manhandling a wild rat?! It could bite you! You could get sick! Those things carry disease!"

I stop my tickling and Kaze escapes to the relative safety of my shoulder. "Kaze doesn't." I tell her. "He's obviously a pet, just look at those markings. Besides, if he was going to bite me he would have done so by now."

Sasuke's usual scowl deepens. "Don't be so sure. Those _things_ are nothing but _disgusting traitors_." He turns to leave.

"What-?" I'm so confused right now. "Does Sasuke have a thing against rats or something?" I ask Kakashi.

He shrugs, briefly looking up from his book to watch the back of his retreating student. "The Uchiha had a close connection to the community of cat summons. My best guess is some of the bad blood between the cats and rats bled over to influence their summoners."

"Oh… That makes sense." I turn back to the others, pulling Kaze off my shoulder and hold him out in front of me. "~Still wasn't nice, those mean things he said about you, wasn't it?~" I give the rat a kiss and Sakura pales considerably. "Anyway," I say, back in my normal voice, "I was asking around if anyone lost their pet rat when you guys came upon me, so if you hear anything…"

"Sure thing Ren!" Naruto shouts. Sakura nods.

"Actually," Kakashi says, putting his book away _finally_. "I don't think you'll find anyone missing a pet rat. As you've probably noticed, they're not that popular around here. My guess is that someone got that guy as an exotic pet on a whim, then released it when they didn't want it anymore."

"Really?" I ask, holding Kaze closer. "That's terrible."

"Mn. I'd suggest you hold onto that rat." Kakashi tells me blandly.

A slow smile spreads against my face at that. "Well, you heard the masked man, Kaze! Looks like you and I are sticking together."


	14. To the training grounds!

Shoulders twitching, back straight, brow pinched, I sit in lotus position with my hands on my knees, desperately scanning my body for inner power, some sensation that isn't present in my memories. How long have I been at this? I crack open an eye. Going by the still-drying ink of my latest letter to Seika, not long. And going by my lack of success, not long enough. I frown and close my eye again. After what feels like forever but is probably more like three minutes, I slump back against the floor with a dejected sigh. The academy hasn't taught me anything useful, so I've been trying to train on my own. It hasn't proven fruitful. I open my eyes when I feel a weight on my chest, lifting my head off the floor.

"Oh hi Kaze." I greet the rat and drop my head back down. "You know, I think I got the short end of the stick." I tell him, absently petting his ears. "What with this whole reincarnation/world-hopping business. Though that would imply I go back and forth…" I chuckle suddenly, causing the oversized rodent to bounce slightly on my chest. "Hey Kaze, what do you call Jiraya's toad summons?"

I pause for dramatic effect, even though I've already said the punch line and it's not like Kaze is going to respond to my query with a 'what'.

"World Hoppers!" I pronounce proudly. "Get it? Cause they're toads and they hop and they come from another world… dimension, whatever Mt. Myoboku is. But anyway, whatever this is, I totally got ripped off."

Sighing again, I explain. "In all the fan fictions I remember reading, well the ones about this kind of thing happening, the character in question from the world of my memories usually has super-sensory-skills because they have a reference to what it feels like to not have chakra. There are so many stories like that. The OC is always a sensor, always has great chakra control, always life hacks the heck out of life using fuinjutsu and ends up being an over-powered god with every cannon character of the opposite sex as their love interest! Kaze, it's not fair!" I whine.

I lift my head off the ground again to see what Wind-the-Wonder-Rat has to say about this. We stare at each other, nose to nose for a few seconds.

"You're right," I sigh, flopping back down. "Life isn't fair… Maybe, maybe I've been looking at this all wrong. Maybe those fanfics got it wrong in that memory land/old reality/real world does actually have chakra but nobody there is able to use it…"

I jolt upright and Kaze has to scurry up to my shoulder to keep from being flung across the room. "I've got it!" I shout. "So like, it's not real world people who have the extra perspective of living without chakra, but the ninjas!"

Kaze jumps from my shoulder onto the little table. "Hey, hear me out," I tap the little table to get him to look at me. I clear my throat as he does.

"Okay, so I don't remember all that much world history from the academy classes or memories of the TV show, but basically something about the sage of six paths and his mom ended up making Chakra come to the world from a tree or something, and then the sage or one of his sons invented ninjutsu. So, they could only do that because they had the context of not having chakra to know what to do with it. In my old world, chakra probably came before the evolution of humans and so they never knew it was there or what to do with it!" I chew my bottom lip. My pet rat and I stare at each other in a moment of silence.

Eventually I admit the flaws in my thinking. "… But that still doesn't explain why I can't find my chakra. Argh!" I yell, pulling my hair in frustration. "I'm not cut out for this! I should be a philosopher or writer, not a ninja! I'm a thinker, not a fighter. But I need to protect my village!" I get up and start pacing around. "Angry mob with pitchforks is out of the question. We tried that the first time and the bandits are too strong. At least they were before Kakashi and the others took care of them, maybe… no, can't risk it. If they come back they'd be looking for blood, revenge. And at this rate, there's no way I'll be strong enough in one year's time to be ready for next harvest. Well, if I can't fight, then I have to use my head. Given that we live in Sound, I could always… No. No, I can't think like that. There has to be another way. I haven't explored all my options yet. So I can't use chakra…yet. I can still learn taijutsu." I slam my fist into my palm once I've made up my mind. "Yes! This, is going to SUCK." I yell triumphantly. "Come on, Kaze. We're exploring the training grounds. There's someone I need to meet."

After some minutes of delaying and procrastination on my part, Kaze and I make it down the stairs and out the door. It's not the thought of intense physical discomfort that has me dragging my feet to go out, though that is part of it. The thing is, while Konoha doesn't hold a candle to New York City in terms of hectic chaos, I'm still a country boy at heart and am not a fan of busy streets, crowds and man made stimulus. My sensitivity had me avoid going out in my old life too. I'm out now though, and it's never as bad as I think it's going to be. There's actually a really nice breeze and it's not too cloudy. So, to the training grounds. I make my way to the nearest one, and since they're all mostly connected, I plan to walk through them one by one until I come across the person I'm looking for or someone else who I can bother into training me. Good idea right? Only, maybe not. The second training ground we come to is occupied. "Excuse me Mr. Shinobi-" I'm cut off by a puff of air and the ninja in question appearing in front of me before I can blink. Young and arrogant are the two words that pop into my head.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, "Training grounds are off-limits to civilians."

I blink, still processing his sudden appearance. "Whu- oh. I'm not a civilian."

"Aren't you?" He asks with a sneer, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I'm an academy student." I tell him. "Anyway, since you're here, I was wondering if you've seen a guy is a green jumpsuit?"

The guy frowns, "No."

"Oh, well. Thanks anyway," I begin turning away but he has more to say.

"No, I don't believe you."

"Hm?" I ask.

"There's no way you're an academy student. That's the worst lie I've ever heard. Your behavior is highly suspicious especially considering the rat summon on your shoulder. I suggest you come with me to the Hokage." The ninja says with pomp.

I groan and the mentioned rat bristles, perhaps out of some grudge against summon animals? But that is for another time, because, "Not again!"

"Again?" Arrogant parrots back to me.

"Ya, again." I tell him, annoyed. "The first was for trying to send a letter. Now it's for walking in the public training grounds with my pet rat. I get you're all paranoi- uh, cautious shinobi, but the Hokage knows me, and I am in fact an academy student and I'm sure Lord Third won't be too pleased to have his important work be interrupted by something as small as this."

He steps back, crossing the arms and giving me a suspicious look. "Fine. But I _will_ file a report about this. And next time you come here, bring an adult to supervise you." He shoots me a vindictive smirk. "Any genin will do. But since you're in the academy, and haven't graduated yet, then you're a legal minor. So bring your babysitters and I might let you train here."

I roll my eyes. "What are you the training grounds bouncer or something? Gees, alright. Whatever you say if it will help your obvious insecurities. Come on

Kaze. Let's go." And with a toss of my hair, we left.

* * *

That night a certain undercover rat sneaks out of sleeping Ren's grasp to make his way to a rendezvous point.

"Sorei, here te report." The rodent intones, and is greeted by the appearance of his commander. He then proceeds to tell them what he has learned, toning down his rattish accent as much as possible. "Subject seems to believe that he has memories of living in another world; a world in which there are stories about ninja and stories about civilians of said otherworld coming here to become ninja. It is assumed that these stories are where he attributes his knowledge."

The jonin receiving end of the rat's report sighs heavily and bemoans his time wasted on this crap. ( _Oh, so he thinks he's an alien now? Great. Trust Hatake to be paranoid enough to drag a crazy civilian into the village for 'knowing too much.'_ ) He makes a waving motion with his hand, signaling the rat to go on. ( _I even have to work with vermin for this mission! Ugh, this sucks. Can't they give this assignment to a chunin or something? Is this some kind of punishment for that time I put a cockroach in Ibiki's coffee? No, the higher ups think the info might be too high for a chunin. But why do I have to do it. Can't they get some other jonin? Maybe it is punishment. Wait a second._ )"What did you just say?" The jonin asked, tearing his gaze away from the wall and focusing on the rat for the first time.

Sorei puffs up in irritation and generally ties and fails to be intimidating. "Weren't ya listning?!"

"No!- I mean, just repeat what you were saying!"

The rat huffs. "I said, Ren made a bad joke about Jiraya of the Senin's toad summons, and their relation to Mt. Myoboku."

The man's eyes widen, no civilian would know about that. "What else?" He demands, and is leveled with an unimpressed stare.

"As I _said_ " Sorei squeaks from the aproxamate hight of the jonin's shin, (god, can't they manage basic manners and give me a table to stand on like they do for other summons?) "There were two other points of suspect today. One, he went looking in the training fields for a man in a green jumpsuit," The expression on the ninja's face implied he knew exactly who the rat was talking about and it wasn't a pleasant thought. But his concerns about what happens when two kinds of crazy meet was washed away by the next alarming thing the rat revealed to him. "and he wrote a letter that was heavily encrypted."

* * *

 **A/N: Ugh, I kinda sorta hate this chapter. It was a pain to write because I realized that I'd wanted something to happen before Ren got the rat, but I forgot to write it and am trying to fit it in afterwards. That's what happens when I don't focus on plot.**

 **Also: I'm accepting suggestions for what you guys think Ren looks like. Put it in a review or PM me or something and I might just used it.**

 **P.S. Can someone please tell me how to make friends? College is intimidating.**


	15. Been a while

Chapter fifteen: Been a while...

My leg jiggles impatiently as I stare longingly out the window to the sunny day outside. I'm a farm boy! I'm not used to sitting around indoors so much. My tiny kid's chair creaks ominously beneath me and I freeze, slowly setting down my leg. Iruka told me that if I broke one more chair from my fidgeting he'd set the entire class against me for sparring. Admittedly, it's not that much of a threat considering they're all five year olds, but I've always listened more to people's tones than what they were saying, and Iruka certainly could yell. Then again, all these kids totally could beat my ass and I'd still feel terrible about fighting back because, well, they're tiny! So setting the class against me probably was a pretty good threat.

My attention turns back to Iruka's lecture on the founding of Konoha, and I sigh into the hand holding my chin propped on my desk. This would be _so_ much better with puppets… or if it was historically accurate. I mean, they don't even mention Madara! It's all, ' _Hashirama this, Hashirama that,"_ and only sometimes ' _with a little help from the Uchiha.'_ (My fingers start to tap out the rhythm of "with a little help from my friends.") I mean, no wonder the Uchiha wanted to throw a coup! Or was this curriculum only implemented _after_ the massacre? History isn't so good here, I notice. Maybe they're fine just forgetting the Uchiha ever existed. But wait, wasn't there a scene when Kyuubi- er, Kurama called Sasuke the spitting image of Madara and Sasuke said something like ' _never heard of him, am I supposed to care?"_ or something equally cocky? How could Sasuke not know that?

I'm broken out of my musings when I hear our teacher ask us a question. "Who knows what year Konoha was founded?" He asks the class.

Oh, darn, I know he's mentioned this. Boar? No, that's the end of the cycle. Pig? Wait, that's the same thing.

"Rabbit!" A kid near the front calls out. Damn it, I knew that! ...not.

"Very good Mako," Iruka tells him, "Konoha was founded in the year of the Hare. Remember to raise your hand next time."

I find my attention wandering again. I really gotta memorize the order of the twelve zodiac years if I'm going to learn any of these dates. Then again, does it really matter? Why do I need to know this stuff? Well, I really should at least know the order of the zodiacs. I'm a bit ashamed to say that I still have to sing the alphabet from my first childhood in my head to remember the order and hum the song and hand signs from my second to remember the zodiac. Having grown tired of drumming endless beats onto my desk with my fingers I begin playing the zodiac hand game with myself. I've played it so often I can pretty much do it with my eyes closed now.

 _Rat, ox, tiger, hare, dragon, snake, horse, ram, monkey, bird, dog, boar…_ wait a second. My eyes open with a jolt as I stare down at my hands. Wait a second. _Bird, dog, boar…_ Oh my _god._ Have I been practicing hand signs all this time and not knowing it? Oh… my… god…

Twelve hand signs, twelve zodiac signs, how come I never put it together before? I'm such an idiot!

* * *

Meanwhile in Tactics and Intelligence:

"This kid's a genius! I've never seen a code this complex before. If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was a whole other language!"

Another member of the cipher division bites his lip. "Yeah, but what does it _mean?_ It's so blatantly unreadable… do you think he's testing us to see if we really are reading his letters?"

The first one looks up from the paper and shakes her head. "No… the kid's naïve as they come. Plus, a gag like that would be too incredibly stupid and dangerous for any sane spy to do."

A snort. "I think we've established this guy isn't sane."

A third member speaks up. "Maybe… it is another language." He holds his hands up to ward off the others' protests. "Hatake said in his report that… _'upon speaking with the subject's parents, they admitted the subject had taken twice as long to learn to speak, as half of his vocabulary always comprised of nonsense words. The subject eventually learned to weed out these words, but regressed at age four when his sister was born, refusing to speak to her in anything other than babble. The parents admitted this persisted until the siblings seemed to have their very own secret language.'_ Maybe this is that very language. I didn't think it would have an entirely different writing system as well, but… it's a possibility."

"That still doesn't explain why he's writing in it now." The second voice spoke up. "We need to be extra cautious of him."

* * *

 **Notes:**

So Ren wrote a letter in English and the intelligence team goes bonkers. I'd initially planned to have them send the rat because they weren't getting anything out of his letters but I forgot to write it that way. This makes less sense but oh well. I can still have it be because Ren doesn't want them to read his letters. I also forgot to mention a scene back at the farm where Kakashi asks the parents about Ren's strange language and gets the answer that he seemed to learn to speak it at the same time rate that he learned Japanese.

Hmm? What was that? You wanted to know why it's been so long and now this is a measly short chapter? Well, because you asked so _nicely,_ I'll tell you the truth. I got trapped in an alternate dimension where fanfiction didn't exist and horrible leech-like monsters fed on my creativity and sapped my strength until I was nothing more than an uninspired glob of depression and madness, all hope for salvation lost forever like by favorite stuffed bear coco, only to be harshly plucked out of that hell and jolted back into reality by a pair of tap-dancing hippopotami with braces and eating issues. Thanks for asking.

Oh, and a review would be nice too.


	16. Metaphysics and Determinism

**Chapter sixteen: Determinism and metaphysics**

 **A/N:** Hey, everybody! I've been gone another long while, sorry. I got my very first flame a while ago and I thought that deserved its very own mourning period. I'm a delicate soul you see and pear-like in both body shape and skin thickness. So go throw my tomato brethren at MrKeyFox for dishing the burn. JK let's treat all our fruit and veggie friends with honor and respect.

* * *

I blink owlishly at the snooty thirteen year old staring at me down his nose. Neji's hair. Is. So. Pretty! And he's a ninja! And my parents think _I'm_ too feminine for having long hair? Me? Mr. ' _I like to play in the dirt and finger paint with mud_ ', Ren? Gah, there is no justice in the world. And seriously, what's wrong with femininity? Gender is just a social construct anyway and-

Neji clears his throat pointedly and I realize he'd asked a question.

See, after feeling like an idiot in class today, what with realizing I've been an oblivious buffoon my whole life, trying to make up for it by suggesting to Iruka that perhaps some hands-on learning like historical cosplay might make his lessons more interesting and then being utterly rebuffed by the insulted teacher and sent to dismantle traps as punishment until long past the time trash collecting genin did their rounds, thereby forcing me to miss my daily dumpster-diving expedition, I had decided 'to hell with ninja educators, I'm going to go kick a stump all by my self' because, 'hey, it worked for Lee'- before the very team I'd hoped to train with came stumbling upon the training field I'd chosen to humiliate myself in.

"Uh, what?" I ask eloquently.

At this point Neji's eyebrow has started to twitch. "Your form is horrendous and it's honestly painful to watch. Why are you even trying when you are obviously destined to fail?"

I shrug. "Why fear falling?"

Now it is his turn to blink. I notice that the others have already started training a ways away, and wonder at why Neji has decided to take time out of his own training to confront me. Does putting others down make him feel better? Or is he honestly baffled by those who continue to fight their fate? He's a bit of a hypocrite though, since he's still fighting against the branch system by figuring out the main house fighting style and using it in the chunin exams. Or maybe he's just looking for people like himself who _don't_ give in to fate and who decide to stand and fight, and he piles all his self doubt onto them, just longing for them to justify his own hope by convincing him of his own path-

"What does the fear of falling have to do with you being a useless failure?" Neji asks in an aggravated yet haughty voice.

"Wha-? Oh. You said I'm destined to fail." I say. "That's true. Failure is inevitable for all of us. But if I never try for fear of falling, I'll never get anywhere. Don't be afraid to fall. That's what my brother told me when I was learning to- uh… strap sticks to the bottom of my feet and slide down a snowy hill."

Okay, now he's looking at me like I'm crazy. Well. Does skiing exist in this world? Something to look into.

Neji shakes his head, scoffing in disgust and deciding not to comment on my weirdness. "You'll fall and fall and fall, and still never get anywhere. Why bother when it is a hopeless endeavor? All it will get you is pain. You cannot fight your fate."

My eyes light up with joy. "Oh? So you believe in fate? As in, the future is set in stone and there is nothing you can do about it?"

Giving me the suspicious side-eye Neji nods. He's probably not expecting my enthusiasm but I haven't had anyone to talk to about philosophy and metaphysics in so long, so who cares if he's using it to insult me? "This is so cool!" I squeal in glee.

His face takes on a stormy expression as he fervently denies my claims. "Fate is _not_ cool, it is cold, cruel and malicious. _Your_ fate is just as uncaring. Your failures are not temporary and your struggles to succeed are futile."

"Huh." I say. "You got all that without reading my palm? Hey! Your all-seeing-eyes aren't even on. I want a refund!" I put my hands in his face. "Read my future again please. And tell me who's going to be the next Hokage while you're at it, I could make a fortune off a bet like that. Hah! Unintentional pun; _fortune_ , get it? 'Cause you're a fortune teller?"

"I am _not_ a fortune teller!" Neji snaps, swatting my hands away from his face.

There's silence throughout the clearing and I become aware of the rest of team Gai looking curiously over at us, no doubt alerted by Neji's outburst.

"You're not?" I ask innocently. "Then how do you know I'm destined to fail and fail and fail? How do you know so much about fate? Only fortune tellers can tell the future."

"HE IS RIGHT YOUNG NEJI!" Gai booms from across the training field.

"So if you're not a fortune teller… Then you can't tell me about my fate! Hah! In your freakin face you fake fortune teller! You don't know my fate~! You don't know my fate~!" I start dancing around the field and doing cartwheels while Neji fumes. Oh god help me, I've become a troll.


End file.
